Cathy Adams Zen Parenting Blog Post - What's Keeping Me Sane - Lotus

Round and Round

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I’ve been feeling gutted for the last couple of days, and this morning I gave myself permission to stay gutted. I don’t want to move on quickly. There is no quick fix for deep exhaustion and concern. I want so badly to focus on other things – but I can’t, yet. The world has presented obstacles that can’t be removed …

Anti-Racist Books and Thought Leaders

Cathy Adams Books

Book Recommendations: So You Want to Talk About Race – Ijeoma Oluo Between the World and Me – Ta-Nehisi Coates I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness – Austin Channing Brown Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption – Dr. Bryan Stevenson The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness – Michelle Alexander Me …

Empathy and the ability to feel your feelings

Cathy Adams Dear Girls 1 Comment

  We were built to feel our feelings, even when feelings don’t feel very good. Anger, sadness, feeling left out – not enjoyable. But we all know these feelings intimately, they come and go throughout our lives. They are wonderful teachers, offering an appreciation for the happier moments and calmer times. They also create a sense of compassion and empathy …

The choice and power of words

Cathy Adams Dear Girls 1 Comment

In a moment it can feel really good to yell at someone, to release the anger through words. It’s like unloading heaviness onto someone else for awhile, like a momentary relief. But later we are left feeling guilty and ashamed, with the realization that we were irresponsible. We forgot to pay attention. We lost sight of what was real and most important.

Practicing Contentment

Cathy Adams Blog, self-awareness 2 Comments

Searching outside of ourselves for contentment will disappoint. It’s not a thing we can “have”. Instead, it’s a practice of paying attention, appreciating, refocusing. No one promised us contentment. It’s nobody’s job to give us contentment. Instead it’s an individual responsibility, a lifetime commitment. Sometimes it’s easy. Things flow, birds sing, life has rhythm. Sometimes it’s elusive. We feel worry, …

Feeling afraid? Create light.

Cathy Adams Personal Reflection, self-aware parenting, self-awareness 1 Comment

I told my girls about the Paris tragedy. I explained that a few very angry people chose to harm and create fear, but their actions actually led to compassionate solidarity all over the world. They thought they were spreading hate, but instead they ignited togetherness and love. In an instant people remembered what mattered most. They stopped, became silent, prayed. …

You look much better in person than you do on paper

Cathy Adams Family Stories, mindfulness, self-awareness, Uncategorized 1 Comment

My dad fell and has been in the hospital. Actually he’s fallen several times over the last few weeks, but this big fall led to him being taken away in an ambulance. In the emergency room the attending physician walked in and said to my dad, “You look much better in person than you do on paper.” Which made me …

You are wired for connection

Cathy Adams self-awareness 1 Comment

Over the years I’ve become geeky about neurological development and brain-wiring, and my absolute favorite wires are mirror neurons. These lovely links allow us the capacity to feel and experience what others are feeling and experiencing – we are literally wired to understand and help each other. Sometimes I feel like my brain is a house of mirrors because I …

Letting go of our junk

Cathy Adams mindfulness, Personal Reflection, self-awareness 0 Comments

Deep down our inner workings are good. What’s not good is all the junk piled on top of the good. The history, defensive mechanisms, trauma, judgmental thinking, biases, prejudices, and pain that blocks the good. Life is not a process of “becoming” better, we are good as we are. But we do have to commit to a consistent junk-removal process …

Overthinking What People Think

Cathy Adams Chicago Parent 0 Comments

Too often we pull back from an innovative idea, allow ourselves to be treated poorly or decide to not try something new because we find ourselves thinking, “I don’t want people to think that I’m…” What? Too successful? Too outspoken? Too self-loving? Instead of believing that it’s OK to do what feels good or right to us, we prioritize what …

These are the things that terrify me…

Cathy Adams Writing 0 Comments

Fear – because it’s irrational Fear wakes me up to misconceptions, untrue stories about myself or others, untrue stories about the world. Fear makes me stop and think, fear pushes me to breathe and contemplate. Fear can feel brutal, but I believe it’s meant to be a healer. The energy of fear has encouraged (pushed? forced?) me to purge old …

Love what we see

Cathy Adams Personal Reflection, self-aware parenting, Writing 2 Comments

I have met people who make poor choices, people who act out of fear, people who demonstrate the negativity they feel. They aren’t inherently bad. They’ve just forgotten who they are. Pieces of themselves have been harmed, shamed, or forgotten. They are no longer whole, they act from brokenness. They carry unexpressed experiences and stories. They believe untrue fears that …