Your children don’t want you to be perfect, they want you to be real. They desire a genuine connection combined with mutual respect for self and others. They want to be who they are and feel safe and affirmed in your presence. This sense of safety builds confidence, and this is what allows children to trust themselves and believe in what they can do.

Offering this sense of safety requires our self-awareness. Self-awareness isn’t something we achieve once and for all, but is a daily practice of noticing ourselves. We practice being aware of our feelings and behavior, which in turn allows us to take responsibility for our lives. Instead of focusing on what others do or say, which is completely out of our control, we make choices for ourselves, deciding how to respond and participate. This is freedom, and this is what Gandhi was inferring when he told us to “be the change” we are looking for.