[00:00:00]
Todd: Here we go. My name’s Todd. This is Cathy. Welcome back to another episode of Zen Parenting Radio. This is podcast number 817. Why listen to Zen Parenting Radio because you’ll feel outstanding and always remember our motto, which is that the best. Predictor of a child’s wellbeing is in fact a parent’s self understanding.
Todd: If you’ve been paying attention to the shows this last month as we record this, it’s May 26th, 2025. You heard a two minute kind of intro in each of the last three weekly podcasts, and that intro was an announcement that Cathy and I are not going. Anywhere yet, we are switching things up a little bit. So for our [00:01:00] 817th podcast, next week’s podcast will be 818.
Todd: Mm-hmm. We’re not going anywhere. You don’t have to change anything in your feed. Everything’s the same, but everything’s different. Sweetie. Say what’s different?
Cathy: Well, first of all, I think what he means is you’re already subscribed to us so you don’t have to resubscribe. Correct. Um, but next week we are starting with, uh, Zen Pop Parenting.
Which
Cathy: is, as Todd said, I, I told him to like tone it down and to not be like super sad about like, oh, this is gonna be the final because there is no final. There is.
Cathy: This, we’re still, it’s still us, man. We’re coming back next week. It’s just a little different and it’s got a different vibe. And as Todd said, um, for the last couple weeks we’ve been kind of prepping everybody, like this is what we’re doing. Um, and we’re super excited about this shift. Like, this is nothing that anyone told us we should do.
Cathy: It has nothing to do with us trying to, you know, it’s, it’s, how do I say this? It’s. [00:02:00] Completely driven by what Todd and I think is fun. Yes. Okay. So we were like, I don’t know, it was a couple months ago. We were like, sorry, I keep trying to turn the heater off and it won’t go off. Maybe ’cause I’m hitting it twice.
Cathy: It won’t go off.
Todd: It went off and then you just turn it back off. Okay.
Cathy: Hold on. Here everybody,
Todd: everybody. No. Did it go off? No, I could hear it from here.
Cathy: Okay. I gotta unplug it.
Todd: Oh boy.
Cathy: I don’t know how safe that was.
Todd: You fixed it?
Cathy: I fixed it. Okay. So the heater is now up. So anyway, a couple of months ago, two or three months ago, uh, we were having a conversation with my daughters.
Cathy: And my daughters were, you know, we were talking about graduation and all these things and what we’d wanna do for a living and. Um, you know, if we were graduating from college or what we’d wanna major in and in these conversations, one of the things that came up is that I would really, I would really like to talk about pop culture.
Cathy: I said I’d even really love to work for the Ringer. I. Which is one of my favorite networks. [00:03:00] Um, they talk about sports, so that part I wouldn’t do very well at. But um, you know, all the pop culture podcasts that I subscribe to there. And then Todd and I kind of had one of those moments like, well, why aren’t we doing that then?
Cathy: Like, if we really love that. And the blend of the two things that I love the most are pop culture. And self-awareness, compassion, mindfulness. I’m putting like a slash like all these things together. Uh, communication, connection, basically just any kind of self-awareness is what I love. And so how do we combine them,
Todd: which we kind of already do anyway, right?
Todd: We’re just kind of rebalancing, uh, the force, the intention, the intention of what it is that we want to do, and you know, how we go ahead and do that. So what I was thinking for today, Uhhuh. As we spend a little bit of time on looking backwards because I do think it is, and I have a few ideas in mind, please.
Todd: Um, because I think it is important to kind of honor. What we’ve done. Wait, wait. We started this in January of, I don’t know what, [00:04:00] 15 years ago, so I guess 2010, or maybe it’s 2011. We actually started in December. Oh, it was December. Yeah. Of January.
Cathy: So it was, well, we did, I think we posted our first show, but we had taped a bunch of shows.
Cathy: Yeah. Prior to that. So like, our first show that we ever did was with my niece and nephew. That’s right. Who were like very young at the time, who are now like grown adults, you know, on their own. Um, but yes, to Todd’s point, we started a really long time ago.
Todd: And, um, so I, I just wanna like, uh, we, we, so we started with the organization called PGA Team.
Todd: Yeah. P-A-G-A-T-I-M, uhhuh. They were Todd and. What was her name? I can’t
remember.
Todd: Sorry. It’s been 10 years, so give us a break. Love you guys. Hmm. You guys helped us get started. So we were on their network for a long time and then we had decided to do our own thing here. So I’m looking at some, some stats just to kind of pat myself on the back a little bit.
Todd: Oh, good. And this does not include, I think the, the PGA team years. Okay. But as far as listenership,
okay.
Todd: We have just, should I, do you [00:05:00] want to guess how many listens we have? Over the past
Cathy: however many
Todd: years. Well, it’s not the last 15 years, even though we’ve been doing it because the first five years I couldn’t count.
Todd: So this is only like, say the last 10 or 11 years
Cathy: you had to learn how to count.
Todd: Yes. Um, I honestly, Todd, I don’t even know, 4.6 million listens. Wow. That’s, that’s a lot. It’s a lot of listens and, um, we, uh, actually it’s funny ’cause we had a little bit of a low in the listenership earlier in the year and we’ve been trending upward, which is, uh, I think it’s just because we’ve been basing our, um, podcast on Cathy’s two, um, Zen, um, the moments, the substack
Cathy: printing moments.
Cathy: Yeah.
Todd: Um, so we just kind of, and I’ve really enjoyed our last few months of podcasting. There were times where I’m like, oh, I feel like, you know, remember that threes company where you. Probably don’t. Like in the first season, Jack Tripper, they try to hide like a puppy dog from Mr. Roper.
Yeah.
Todd: And then the last season they try to hide a kitty cat from Mr.
Todd: Furley.
Cathy: Right. Same [00:06:00] plot. Same
Todd: plot. And there’s a part of me that’s like, how, how often, how many different ways can we basically say the same thing over and over again? Because if you listen to us, self-awareness, love yourself. Love your kids. No role model. Our,
Cathy: our core, our core components are self-awareness, mindfulness, compassion and connection.
Todd: Boom. So we’ve been saying that using different words for 15 years, Uhhuh. And um, I just, Cathy and I both kind of came up with this idea of like, let’s just, let’s mix it up and at a time when there’s a lot of things going on in this world which are heavy. Mm-hmm. I wanna laugh because there’s plenty of other things that are making me not laugh.
Cathy: I wanna laugh. I also wanna be nostalgic. Yeah. I also wanna focus on being a Gen Xer. I also wanna focus on how being a Gen Xer lends to our parenting. Mostly positively, but sometimes not. I also wanna stay talking about how we can connect with our kids through pop culture. Mm-hmm. Okay. So [00:07:00] like the thing about talking about music and movies and TV is that’s what our kids generation is interested in, right?
Cathy: And we’ve got our own history with it and everything, but if we can remember, if we can be nostalgic about our own experience, but also remember. How important that is to kids, young kids even, and how they, you know, connect to the entertainment industry and what’s meaningful to them. And you know, as we know, Todd, it’s true that the music that means the most to us.
Cathy: Is the music from our most like, uh, our developmental years. Yep. So it’s typically from middle school, high school, college. Yep. Okay. Because that’s when our brains are growing the fastest. That’s when we’re most engaged with pop culture. That’s when we’re going through our first experiences with romance and, and stress and overwhelm and breakups, like things that become more adult-like.
Cathy: And I’m putting that in air quotes. So. If we have [00:08:00] this, like, we’re hoping this podcast kind of brings back like why these things are important, what it’s taught us and connects us to our kids’ experience even better. So that’s why we keep saying we’re not losing track of our, of our like Arrow. That’s right.
Cathy: We are, we still know what our arrow is, which is to support parents and partnerships and children. And doing the best they can, you know, and, and being, um, having meaningful relationships in their lives. But at the same time, like Todd said, let’s do it with a sense of like, fun,
Todd: levity, levity, more, more, more movie quotes.
Todd: Basically. I just wanna play more movie quotes.
Cathy: Let’s just do it. And more movie clips. And more songs. Yeah. Let’s TV clips
Todd: and
Cathy: like, just so you guys know, like I did a whole, like usually I’m not so into like, let’s figure out the marketing of this show. But for my own sense of self, I did what a lot of actors do when they have a new role is they’ll create a whole backstory for their character.
Cathy: You know, and I didn’t really do [00:09:00] that, but what I did is I did a lot of writing about what Zen pop parenting is and what it means to us. Just so I felt like I was in it, you know? So I understood why we were making the shift. And one really short paragraph that kind of, I think pieces it all together is Zen Pop Parenting Blends, gen X sensibility with mindful living, emotional awareness, and the music, movies, and moments that shaped us.
Cathy: Parenting is the thread that runs through all of this, because whether our kids are little or grown, how we connect, communicate, and make sense of ourselves and our history matters. And this is a space where Todd and I do what we do best. These are the conversations we enjoy the most. It’s how Todd and I reflect and challenge each other.
Cathy: I. And do our best to understand the world and ourselves a little better.
Todd: Awesome, sweetie. Yeah. And, um, you’re jumping ahead a little bit. Oh, I’m sorry. That’s okay. You, because Cathy and I don’t rehearse as you guys have, haven’t already figured out. Not the heater part that wasn’t planned. Uh, what’s the heater?
Todd: Oh no, the heater part was not planned. Okay. Go
Cathy: back [00:10:00] to Zen parenting rate.
Todd: So, Zen parenting rate, just the top 10 countries is the United States. Okay. Yes. Then Canada. Then Australia. Okay. So when you say the top, what are you talking about? Most amount of listens per per country. Got it. So people who listen US, Canada, Australia, uk, and then France.
Todd: Nice. Germany, New Zealand, Netherlands, and then my native land, Norway.
Oh.
Todd: And then India. Um, and those are the top 10 or something like that. So anyways,
Cathy: thank you for international listeners.
Todd: Um, so now I just want to, I, I have this, um, Google document that I’ve been, I’ve kept over years and I haven’t looked at it like two years.
Todd: Okay. But I just kind of went over my favorite podcasts that you and I have done over the last 15 years. Oh, great. Um, my guess is that you may or may not remember much if any of them, but I just wanna like throw them out to you. Okay. And see if you have like one word or one sentence. In response to it.
Todd: Sure. 1:00 AM I, so this is in no particular order. 11 mistakes. I am, I am made as a husband and why I am better for it. I remember you doing that. That was pretty good. [00:11:00] Mm-hmm. This one was one of my favorite. Listen, allow, support, repeat. I
Cathy: remember that one
Todd: that was
Cathy: about, uh, Soren Soren. Who was a ballet. A ballet dancer?
Todd: Yes. And he, uh, wrote to us, his dad wrote to us. His dad wrote to us. ’cause uh, Soren was like, whatever, seven or eight or really young. He’s young. And he said that Zen parenting was one of the inspirations for him to kind of let Soren do whatever the heck it is that he wanted to do for a living. And what for himself?
Todd: As a kid? Yeah, as a kid. And now it turns out he does this for a living. He is a ballet, I think a professional ballet dancer. Yeah, he’s an
Cathy: adult ballet. The
Todd: only reason we know is ’cause we bumped into them in Vegas.
Cathy: That was so weird.
Todd: They listened, they heard our voice and they’re like, are you Todd and Cathy?
Todd: We’re like, yes. So anyways, they we’re at the pool and they’re like, I’m Soren’s dad. Wow. And that was, that was like really cool.
Yeah.
Todd: Um, this one I liked. Listen to this one with your partner. That was one I was inspired that by that Gaddis blog.
Yes. About, uh,
Todd: just understanding women and helping understand each [00:12:00] other.
Todd: That was, that
they are origami.
Todd: That, that me, that women are origami, and I think you didn’t really like that as a framework.
Cathy: No, I did. Then what I said to you, I was having a rageful perimenopause day and I said, don’t call me origami
Todd: because that’s all I do is,
Cathy: Hey, you origami. Um, I was mad. I was like, this is normal.
Todd: Yeah.
Cathy: Um, which it is. Like I was not having a great day, but I didn’t wanna be like, I didn’t wanna be, I wasn’t in the mood to be considered and dealt with. I was more like, just deal with it.
Todd: Figure that one out. Okay. Um, real time emotional labor. I think that’s, you and I were probably. In some type of disagreement.
Todd: Yeah. About some emotional labor topic. Yeah. I don’t remember, uh, the profound loneliness of American men. I think that was me and you and Sean and Frank, I think talking about Yeah. Uh, men living. But it was based on that NPR podcast where the mm-hmm. That man wanted connection, [00:13:00] physical connection. He would hug poles, he would hug a steel column in his condo for some type of exchange of energy, which is.
Todd: Very sad. I would say so anyways, that’s what I remember about that. There’s another one that we did called How Do I Get My Partner to Blank? And I think that was because a lot of women would come up to me after you and I would speak. Mm-hmm. And they’d be like, how do I get my husband here? Or how do I get my husband to drop in?
Todd: Or how do I get my, and I don’t remember anything beyond that. Um, we did a podcast called The Gift of Failure.
Cathy: Yeah. Probably on Jessica Lehe book. Jessica Le,
Todd: the Five invitations. Remember that one? I do. That was Frank. What’s Frank’s last name?
Cathy: Oh, Frank, he had the Hospice center, the Zen Hospice Center.
Cathy: Mm-hmm. Um, and IL we, we went through a lot of phases of talking about death. Um, because, you know, over this 15 years, Todd and I have lost three parents. We’ve been through a lot.
Todd: Yeah. Um, I forget what his name is, but it was very sweet. Mm-hmm. [00:14:00] Uh, and we just talked a lot about that, which is great. Um, the joke.
Todd: That was a great one. What did we do there? That was
Cathy: a very pop culturing or zen pop parenting type of episode. It’s where we took, uh, Brandy Carlisle’s song, the Joke, and this was like close to 2016, I think. Um, and talked about the words and yeah, we just, and what it meant to us and.
Todd: And we just broke down the lyrics and just talked about it.
Cathy: Yeah. And just, you know, we were talking about the state of the world and, and just what the song is about.
Todd: Yeah. Um, we also did, uh, connection is everything, and that was about the Gottman’s.
Cathy: Yes.
Todd: And can you explain what the got, why, what’s the framework that the Gottman’s are famous for?
Cathy: Right. The Gottman’s are a married couple who have done a tremendous amount of research around, um, relationships, you know, marriage, uh, John Gottman and Julie, [00:15:00] his wife. They did like, they’re known for doing the research about the four, um, horsemen of the apocalypse, meaning the four things that. They noticed if these things were happening, this is much more likely this couple is gonna get a divorce.
Cathy: Like they, you know, they had done all this research too. I think they even got it down to like 92% of the time these people would get a divorce. Yeah. Like, it was really ridiculously high. And, um, they also have done research on connection and how we grow and how we thrive. And
Todd: they’ve done a bunch of stuff.
Todd: Yeah. That’s the one that, that’s who they are and the four horsemen in a relationship. So if you’re doing these things, it’s, you’re more likely to not be with this person. See if I can do it. Do you know what they’re criticism? One,
Cathy: uh, contempt two. Uh, defensiveness. Three and stonewalling. Good job,
Todd: sweetie.
Todd: Mm-hmm. Why? I teach it in my class, so it’s in my brain. So we did a whole podcast on that. That’s podcast number 483, and I think it’s probably one of the more important ones that we’ve done. Mm-hmm. In my judgment, I think that I feel like I should spend more time with that framework so that I can continue to look at myself.
Todd: [00:16:00] So
Cathy: well, especially out of the four, just like real quick, contempt is the one that they really focus in on because. The other ones have their place, meaning like, you know, criticism. Yeah, there’s, there’s some gray area, defensiveness, gray area. Even stonewalling. The word isn’t great, but if you need to walk away, sometimes that can be positive.
Cathy: But contempt is where you’re, basically, the way you are with your partner is everything they do, the way they breathe, the way they talk, makes you roll your eyes, get annoyed, yell at them, where you literally have no sense of respect or understanding of them.
Todd: Boom. Um, we also did, um, wounds and triggers.
Todd: God only knows what that’s about. By the way, I’m gonna include all these podcasts in the show notes and their number and their number and the hyperlinks to ’em. If any of them float your boat, uh, emotional neglect what your feelings are saying. What the heck was that about? Well,
Cathy: if I remember correctly, we did a lot of shows about emotional.
Cathy: Neglect because in the world of parenting, we talk a lot about neglect, and we talk about the what that means in terms of [00:17:00] shelter and food and water and getting kids to school. But another thing that can really affect children in their development is emotional neglect, which is the inability to understand a child’s feelings.
Cathy: And the inability to relate to or empathize with their feelings. Because if a child grows up and they’re in a home where their feelings are not acknowledged or made fun of, or just simply ignored, or parents are indifferent, there is a trauma that goes along with that. And there, there is a neglect of something that’s very important in their
Todd: own growth.
Todd: So I think that was in response to, ’cause I think we did one on the ACE scores, probably ACEs. ACEs, which is mm-hmm. Uh. Overt. Um, it’s
Cathy: a childhood evaluation, um, for parents that it’s a CE Yeah.
Todd: Adverse childhood experience.
Cathy: Adverse childhood experiences. That’s it. And basically there is a list of 10 questions.
Cathy: And you, it’s questions like, have you ever had a parent in prison? You know, did you witness abuse in [00:18:00] your house? And, and emotional neglect was one of those. Um.
Todd: Did you? I thought emotional neglect was like a completely different framework where as children we feel like we didn’t have, we didn’t get what we needed from our parents, but they never did anything specifically against us.
Todd: They just ignored us.
Cathy: Well, that’s what I just said, didn’t I? Didn’t I just give a whole soliloquy?
Todd: But was that. Part of the ACE test or it was No, but
Cathy: the word in the, it says, and again, I’m, I’m conflating two words. I’m putting abuse and neglect together, and that’s not what I meant to do. In the list of things, when it’s talking about neglect, it talks about physical, emotional, like emotional neglect is one of those things because.
Cathy: When I talk about the ACEs with my college students, I talk about that. Mm-hmm. Specifically because a lot of times it’s like when it’s this very old school way of thinking, it’s like when we talk about being abused, which is different, but we’re we’re like, well, he didn’t hit me or she didn’t hit me. So it’s not abuse where emotional abuse.
Yeah.
Cathy: Can be internal [00:19:00] scars. Yeah. That you don’t see. Right. But really breaks down your psyche. Yeah. So it’s really starting to, it’s not about finding other ways to call people abusers or, or being neglectful. It’s a way of recognizing in ourselves why we might be struggling Yeah. In some way. And giving it a name and normalizing the experience.
Cathy: I think a lot of kids in Gen X. Have had experiences with what we would now call emotional neglect. There was a lot of Suck it up. Mm-hmm. There was a lot of, don’t cry. There was a lot of, why are you feeling that way? You don’t deserve to feel that way. There was a lot of shaming. Emotional
Todd: behavior. It’s so funny because that’s gonna be one of my hot takes in one of the podcasts.
Todd: We’re about to record. We’re doing do, do we wanna tease the one that we’re about to record about?
Cathy: Well, why don’t we go through ’em all after we’re done with
Todd: this. Okay, fine. Yes. And just remind me, my hot take was gonna be, I’m gonna write down Hot Take, um, podcast number 508, the Enneagram, which is a really wonderful, yeah, we love talking about the Enneagram and Todd is a.
Todd: A
Cathy: [00:20:00] three and I am a two, but Todd is a three wing two and I’m a two wing three. That’s right. So it helps us in our work lives
Todd: and, and for me, what the Enneagram does, obviously it’s an understanding of self, but even more importantly, it’s an understanding of other people in my world, so I can understand how we’re in relationship to that.
Todd: Yeah. Something might hurt more for you because than me, but it’s because you kind of have a different. Philosophy than I do, or, yeah,
Cathy: different, different viewpoint as far as what I see is most important and what me feel, what makes me feel like a productive citizen who belongs. And you have a different viewpoint on that.
Cathy: We
Todd: did, this was a two-parter, which I really loved. It was called managing Screen Time, but it wasn’t about managing screen time, it was about the eightfold path. Oh yeah. From Buddhism. I remember that. And we used managing screen time through the lens of the eight. Fold path, and I don’t you, you know,
Cathy: I was writing a book about the eightfold path that I ended up not doing.
Cathy: I didn’t even, maybe I did [00:21:00] submit the proposal. I can’t remember. But I started writing a book about the eightfold path,
Todd: so I don’t even know what we said, but the eight. The, that eight folds are, I don’t remember what any of this is. The right view, the right motivation. Mm-hmm. The right speech, the right action.
Todd: Mm-hmm. That’s four of them. And then now I’m gonna go to part two of that podcast and hopefully I listed them. Um. Right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right. Concentration. So,
Cathy: and we had big long talks as we always need to when we talk about Buddhism. About what Right. Means. Yeah. R-I-G-H-T.
Cathy: Like what is right mean? Yeah. You know, there, it doesn’t mean there’s one way. It means what is right for you. Yeah.
Todd: Um, podcast number 616. Mm-hmm. Women’s rights are human rights. Amen. Um, getting to Zero with Jason Gaddis. I really love that one. Dr. Dan Siegel, the power of Showing up. We had him on our podcast.
Todd: Yep. Uh, discussion with Dr. Ali Sari. Um, John Duffy. [00:22:00] I think the first time we had him on and we titled it All Teenagers are amazing. I. They sure are part one and two, I think we went almost two hours with him. So we broke it up into two different things. And we had John on probably four or five times, and he’s part of Team Z, which we’re gonna talk about here in a second.
Todd: Yeah. Uh, setting boundaries with love. Uh, 10 habits to turn your marriage around. 10 mistakes I made as a wife and why I’m better for it. Mm-hmm. And then lastly, um, I always loved the one that we did with Vespa.
Katie,
Todd: Katie Wise. Mm-hmm. Outliving cancer with tears, wit, and grace. I will always remember that interview because it was emotional for I think all three of us.
Todd: But for her, and it was just, she told us, um, her, her navi, she was diagnosed with cancer in her
Cathy: twenties.
Todd: Yes. And she told her whole story and it was super powerful,
Cathy: super moving and, you know, um, and I, yeah, I loved that episode too. And now she’s doing great and I think her daughter just graduated. From high school or maybe is in college this year, but it’s just such a [00:23:00] long time ago, you know?
Cathy: Right. Um, I also thought you were gonna talk about the one we did about Mother. Oh yeah. Why is that? Which is a very zen pop parenting episode. That’s right. We talked about the song Mother. Uh, that was originally by Pink Floyd, but Natalie Mains did it. So we were playing that song and breaking it apart just like we did the song, the Joke, and what it means with parenting.
She might ing.
Todd: Yeah, that’s one of my favorites. And we just picked that because the, the lyrics in that song, it’s all about parenting. And, and they’re not super, uh, there’s plenty of room for interpretation. There is. Uh, and we spent 45 minutes playing parts of that version of that song and pausing it and, okay, what did Roger Waters mean when he said this?
Todd: Mm-hmm. And what did he mean when he said this?
Cathy: And what do we learn as [00:24:00] parents from that? Because a lot of it was about keeping too close of a story. Like a, you know, holding a child. Yeah. Too tight, but then also not loving a child. Well, when he
Todd: says mom is gonna put all of her fears in being yes. Like, oh, that doesn’t sound good,
Cathy: but how many parents, we were just having a conversation in the car.
Cathy: Actually, you were asleep, you missed, you missed the conversation. But, uh, my daughter and I were talking about someone, about a parent that had told it. I, I try, I don’t wanna like tell the story. Outward because someone might recognize it, but a parent had told their daughter a story and said, this is what happens.
Cathy: Like kind of gave a final, this is what happens when the reality was that was just what happened to that parent.
Todd: Yeah.
Cathy: And so then all of a sudden, so if she,
Todd: along story, she’s speaking from universal truths when it’s actually her truth.
Cathy: Correct? It’s actually, it was a man, it was a father. Oh, his
Todd: truth.
Cathy: It was his truth and he was like, this is what happens if you do this.
Cathy: Yeah. And it was just his experience. It could be something that happened. [00:25:00] It is something that happened to him, but it’s not universal. Yeah. And that that is a huge part of what Zen Parenting Radio has been about, is differentiating your life experiences from the experiences that your child may have, and recognizing that you can have your experiences and they were real.
Cathy: But it doesn’t mean that’s what your kid is going through. Yeah. Gosh. And I, I love talking about that. ’cause I had to really work on that in therapy. Like, that was something that my therapist, who I miss so much, she retired in this time too. Barely. She retired like two years ago. Yeah. It was hard.
Yeah.
Cathy: Um, but she would say to me that, that, you know, I would say something and she’d be like, yeah, but.
Cathy: That’s not the true story. That’s just your
Todd: story.
Cathy: And I was like, oh.
Todd: Oh, okay. So anyway, um, so as we pivot over to Zen. Pop parenting Uhhuh. Um, I just wanna say if, for those of you who are like, oh, I really like the old format and I really like the, um, intention [00:26:00] about parenting and all this, the discussions that go deep about parenting teams end is a good vehicle for you.
Todd: Yeah. 25 bucks a month. Cathy and I get on Zoom a few times a month with all of the other 70 or 80 teams and people. Um, q and as. Yeah. So, um,
Cathy: discussion. We have groups we talk about, I have a women’s group. We do classes like we’re, I wouldn’t even call ’em classes. We have discussions like, this month we’re gonna be talking about your kid getting ready for college.
Cathy: Last month we talked about menopause. We’re trying to make sure that all these discussions that we’ve had, they don’t go anywhere. They become part of Team Zen and they really are part of the next podcast too. Yeah. They’re really not leaving.
Todd: So let’s pivot over to Zen Pop Parenting. Sure. And we don’t have.
Todd: Uh, theme music for it.
Cathy: Well, that’s because every show starts with whatever we’re talking about. Yes. So we’re opening the show with whatever our topic is, and then Todd goes into some clapping. Mm-hmm. But then we do have so many [00:27:00] sound effects.
Todd: Yes, we do.
Cathy: Because we have like a structure. Yes. And each,
Todd: so this is one of the things that are different about.
Todd: Zen Pop Parenting versus Zen Parenting Radio.
Cathy: Yeah. There’s a structure and so we have categories ’cause we’re trying, so Todd and I, basically what we’ve done is we’ve loved our, what we did with Zen parenting, ’cause we made it our own. Right. We, we didn’t, there’s a lot of people that told us how you should do a podcast and we’re like, we’re just gonna do it the way we like to do it.
Cathy: Right? Yeah. We like to have conversations. Our, their advice
Todd: was to try to get us to argue about something.
Cathy: Well that originally it was to argue then it was to have lots of guests. Yeah. So they would promote the show and we’ve, we do have. Have gas occasionally, but we didn’t wanna feel pressured to do that.
Cathy: Right. ’cause we like having this discussion. Um, and it’s the way that it’s easy for Todd and I to come downstairs and talk. Yeah. We didn’t have to like, worry about scheduling people, you know? Yeah. And so we really like that. Um, but we’ve also like, listened to a lot of podcasts that we really enjoy and one of them that we’re, um.
Cathy: You know, the [00:28:00] structure or what we’re modeling ourselves after is the re watchable on the ringer again. The ringer bringing it back. They have categories that they go through with the movies they talk about. Now we’re not using their categories because it doesn’t work with our discussion, but we are, um, you know, using our own.
Cathy: And Todd, I don’t know if you have the palette ready, but I Do you wanna play the sound effects? So this show, these shows that we’re doing on Zen pop parenting. Start with, set the scene, which is this sound because this is from The Greatest Showman, and it’s kind of like, let’s, let’s get ready. This is, this opens the movie.
Cathy: So we just thought it was a good sound effect to set the scene. So set the scene just means we’re gonna talk about, for example, our very first show that will come out next week is called How MTV and Video Killed the Radio Star shaped our generation and our parenting. So in set, the scene we’re, you know, it’s gonna be obvious, we’re gonna talk about MTV, where it [00:29:00] started, you know, the videos that we’re on.
Cathy: It’s a very fun show because there’s so much music in it. Then number two, the next category is, hold
on. Oh.
Cathy: All right. Uh, the next category, yeah, go ahead. Is US personal storytelling and we call it remember when? Remember when.
You couldn’t wait
Cathy: to love me, Barbara and Neil doing their flowers song. Yep. Um, so we tell our own personal storytelling. You know, when did we start watching MTV, when I’m just going to use video, kill the video star. Sure. When did we start watching it? What was the first thing we remember, et cetera. I. The next one.
Cathy: Um, actually we don’t go right into rolling in the deep do we? No,
Todd: we
Cathy: do not. You know what I have these were just my general,
Todd: how about I play it and then you, and then you talk about
Cathy: Yes. Good, good, good. [00:30:00] Play it again
here. Do you know the human How dos? Eight pounds.
Cathy: That’s sweet. Jonathan La la. Ney.
Cathy: Lipinski Le Pinney. No, it’s not Lipinski, is it Lipinski? I dunno. Anyway, that’s from Jerry McGuire and this one is called Random Facts. So we play that little sound effect for the category of random facts where we share, like some of the research we’ve done or things that we remember about MTV starting or video kill the radio star, and we just kind of share random facts.
Cathy: The next one.
Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got outta hand fast. It jumped up a notch. It did, didn’t it? It did, didn’t it?
Cathy: And that set, that’s the category for WTF, like that jumped up a notch. Yeah. Like what is going on? So if there are things that are kind of shocking or things that were like a little over the top that falls in WTF category,
Todd: and then we go into a completely different part of the podcast, it’s
Cathy: where we do this Send parenting part.
Cathy: Yeah. [00:31:00]
Todd: So this is like kind of the intro to the next four categories? Yes. Right?
Cathy: Yes. And it, and the next four categories, actually, I think it’s just the next two, Todd.
Todd: Uh, no. Three. At least three.
Cathy: Okay. So the, for the next one, under this Zen Parenting, uh, kind of music is rolling in the deep.
Cathy: Which is the emotional depth of what we’re talking about and the self-awareness that was gained through it, or continues to be worked on through whatever we’re discussing. Like MTV, like what, how did that, what did that make our generation feel like? How did it change the way we saw, you know. We experienced the world.
Cathy: Um, and also how that led to our own self, uh, you know, individuated response to it. Like how did we personally respond? And then the next one
we like do, and the Jackson.[00:32:00]
Cathy: And this is the parenting lens. This is how it connects across generations. Like how did growing up with MTV shape us and our parenting, you know, how did it change the way that we re related to youth culture? How did it relate to the way that we relate to our kids? You know, why? In in good ways and not great ways.
Cathy: We discussed all of the above.
Todd: I don’t know why we chose this song. I do for this next category.
Cathy: So this is, uh, learning to fly this song by Tom Petty, and we chose it because this is what we learned. Mm. And I just feel like learning to fly is like learn, you know, learning to be better. Right. So what did we learn from the experience of growing up with MTV?
Cathy: Like what, what did we learn about not only our culture, but about. The way we related to the world. Like did we become more global citizens? I think so. Um, you know, what did we, what did we learn from our experiences personal And
Todd: see, I consider this the third [00:33:00] of three categor with categories. I agree. For the Zen parenting piece,
Cathy: I agree with you.
Cathy: They, they kind of are the deepest dive and that’s the part that I really love, um, you know, is talking about. ’cause it’s not pop culture is a lens. On us. Pub culture is not just a random movie
Todd: that is made, it’s a reflection of our society.
Cathy: It’s a reflection of our society. Society. It’s a reflection of our, um, generation.
Cathy: It’s a reflection of what we believe or what we’re trying to. Believe and create. Like sometimes it’s optimistic, sometimes like, you know, the dystopian stuff that we’ve been dealing with for now a decade. That’s our, that’s our fear. That’s our, if we don’t get, if we don’t take action when it becomes, when it comes to things like illnesses and environmental issues, then we are looking at a dystopian future.
Cathy: That’s why we are having the last of us in Zombies and hunger games and all these, you know. Dystopian, um,
Todd: movies. Yeah. Are you ready? So [00:34:00] that ends the Zen parenting, and now we’re back into the silly.
Cathy: Now we’re back into the silly,
Todd: nobody puts kids in the corner.
Todd: Nobody puts big on it,
Cathy: does
Todd: it? So this is called what?
Cathy: Cringe or classic? What is that? So basically cringe or classic is whatever we’re talking about. Is this like how does it hold up? Is it cringey now? Is it like ugh, or is, did it really kind of set a tone and is it classic for us still, and again, this is between Todd and I, so we don’t agree on everything when it comes to something cringe or classic.
Long
Cathy: and this, this is for the category called the Music Game, which is a game that, um, Todd and I. Our friends, [00:35:00] Manisha and Chris feel that we, we invented and invented even though there, we figured out that other people had already kind of played it. Yeah, there’s a,
Todd: you could buy, it’s called Game, that song.
Todd: Yeah. So somebody stole our idea somehow infiltrated our idea and. Got smart, made some money different.
Cathy: They incepted our dreams. Um, but we basically, the music game, the way the four of us play it, is you come up with like, if you have a topic, like for example on this show that we’re talking about, it’s about MTV and video kill the radio star.
Cathy: What is a song that goes along with the vibe of what we’re talking about? And you have to be really clear that you don’t wanna do a simple song. You’re not gonna choose video, kill the radio star. You’re not gonna choose something really. Basic, you wanna get into the vibe and then you have to be able to defend your choice of song.
Cathy: So Todd and I kind of compete against each other in who had the better choice. Can I win? No, not all the time. May
the force be with you. May the force be with you. May the force be with you. May the force be with you. May the force be with you. All right? The,
Cathy: and that’s [00:36:00] for the best quote. Um, either from, if we’re doing a movie, from the movie, or if it’s from maybe a video that we watched or for this MTV.
Cathy: Um. Topic that we’re doing. It was, what’s the best quote that we heard about MTV?
Where are you?
Todd: And what’s this one? Sweet. Where
Cathy: are you? Where uh, where are these people now? So in MTV we went through what the VJs are doing. Mm-hmm. Like where are they now? Or the people that started MTV, like what are they doing, you know, how have things changed? Or if we talk about a movie, we talk about the actors and where they are, or the directors.
Todd: And then last but not least is trivia. Todd’s trivia and instead of doing the old boring Jeopardy song, I found this one on the internet and thought it was better than the trivia, than the Jeopardy theme.
Todd: It still [00:37:00] makes me laugh. Somebody, somebody decided to do this. Yeah. And you decided to enjoy it. Mm-hmm.
Todd: That’s when I come up with a bunch of questions and answers for Cathy and see how she does. So that in a nutshell is probably an hour or so of podcasting.
Cathy: Yeah, and it’s super fun. It’s contained, it’s, you know, got some structure to it. But it also has some real depth, so we really hope that, um, you listen.
Cathy: So do you want to hear what our next four episodes are about? Todd and I have already recorded three or four of ’em.
Todd: We’ve recorded three, and we’re about to record number four.
Cathy: Okay. So next week is how MTV and video killed the radio star shaped our generation and our parenting. The following week is how the outsiders changed youth culture and created our biggest stars.
Cathy: The following week after that is the bully of our generation, what William Zica taught us. Yes. That’s Johnny from the Karate Kid who is also in so many other movies as the same character. Yes. He is the bully of our generation. It basically
Todd: gave us an opportunity to talk about [00:38:00] Karate Kid. I. Cobra Kai.
Todd: Just one of the guys. Just one of the guys back to school. European vacation.
Cathy: Yeah, so we got to get in a lot. Yeah, it was a good one. I really loved it. And then we were about to record one called Fell on Black Days, the deaths of nineties lead singers and what it teaches us about mental health and addiction.
Cathy: I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but. A lot of the lead singers, um, from some of the greatest bands in the nineties are no longer with us, and there’s a lot of stories behind that. Um, and, uh, a lot of good music that we’re gonna play and the discussion of where we are now compared to where we were in the nineties talking about addiction
Todd: and mental health.
Todd: Any other things that you want to, uh, share or add before we close out? Shop sweetie?
Cathy: Um, you know, the, the last thing I’ll add is because we used to have a, a podcast called Pop Culturing. Some of you may have subscribed to it. We did it for several years and, and kind of really got into it during COVID we did a lot of shows.
Cathy: Um, we are going to take, we’re gonna like not be doing that podcast [00:39:00] anymore, but we may play some of those previous, like, pop culturing, uh, episodes. Episodes and put them on Fridays. Yeah. Sometimes just so can sprinkle it in. You know, you can listen to them ’cause they’re really good. And also because it kind of connects to Zen Pop parenting and it’ll give you more to listen to from us.
Cathy: Um, and also the last thing I wanna share is in about three or four weeks, all three of our girls will be home and they are going to do a zen pop parenting about the Hunger Games Series because they are experts in, um, in the Hunger Games catching fire, mocking J one, mocking J two, the books and the um.
Cathy: The movies. So anyway, our girls are gonna be part of this too, and we’re just having a ball. And thank you for, um, listening to us for all these years. There’s so much more to come. We’re not going anywhere. And all those episodes that we’ve done, the 817 episodes or whatever, they’re all still here. Yeah. So you can listen to ’em whenever you want.
Cathy: And, um, just stay with us and let’s [00:40:00] have some fun together. No,
this is too sad. Cheerful, bro.
Todd: I wanna thank Jeremy Kraft, who I think is gonna keep supporting us painting and remodeling throughout Chicagoland area six re.
Cathy: Scott, I refuse to end on this song. Why? I Love The Doors Because,
Todd: sweetie, this is nothing but joy.
Cathy: No, it’s not. You wanna play Joy
Todd: Play. Uh, can can I finish my spot for Jeremy? Go ahead. AVID code.net painting and remodeling. If you live in the Chicagoland area, call Jeremy. You need to do your kitchen. You need a new second floor in your house. You need to. Paint the garage. He’s your guy.
Cathy: Yeah.
Todd: All right.
Cathy: Now play something uplifting, like Steal my Sunshine by Len.
Todd: Oh, boy.
Cathy: Yeah, because that’s, we love the doors, but that’s a whole different mood.
Todd: I know, but it’s just, this is the 817th episode of Zen Parenting.
Cathy: I know, but now let’s head into some light. All right.
Is this it? Yes.[00:41:00]
Todd: See, doesn’t it feel like, what’s it gonna start?
Keep it going,
keep it going.
Todd: These guys have one hit wonder. Yep.
Cathy: It just felt like the right mood did it.
Todd: Then
Cathy: this is the end. That’s
Todd: like an apocalypse now. It’s at the beginning of Apocalypse now. That’s positive. Thank you for staying with us for 817 episodes. We can’t wait to see you at, uh, [00:42:00] podcast number 818
next week. Everybody see you there
Todd: And then we’re just gonna do this real quick.
Todd: Nice. Yeah, that’s a good way to finish. Keep trucking everybody. See you soon.
Round two. Change a little bit. And change a little bit. Pretty pleasant.
