[00:00:00]
Todd: Here we go. My name’s Todd. This is Cathy. Welcome back to another episode of Zen Parenting Radio. This is podcast number 750. Wait for it. 56. Oh. Uh, why listen to Zen Parenting Radio because you’ll feel outstanding and always remember our motto. Which is the best predictor of a child’s well being is a parent’s self understanding.
Todd: Why are you laughing at me?
Cathy: I don’t know.
Todd: You’re laughing for a reason. It just
Cathy: made like an old man sound.
Todd: What is it? You like,
Cathy: you like sucked in.
Todd: I do make some old man noises usually when I’m trying to put on my shoes or take off my shoes. I
Cathy: know and I can’t make too much fun of you because I do too and I, my children pointed out to me sometimes.
Cathy: It’s like when I’m getting up from yoga or like moving, I’ll be like, [00:01:00] like I can’t even do it. It’s so normal when I’m doing it, but I can’t. Um,
Todd: we’re not going to get here yet, but what are the, what’s the main thing we’re going to talk about today? We’re
Cathy: going to talk about how ordinary moments are the most important moments.
Todd: Okay. Ordinary are the most extraordinary. How about that? Yeah. It’s a little play on words. Yeah. Uh, but first we have a bunch of, um, Fun things to announce. Okay, good. One is, uh, NCAA brackets came out on Sunday. Okay. Women and men’s tournament starts, uh, there’s some playing games, but the most of the games start on Thursday.
Todd: Okay. We are doing a women’s bracket. Nice. And I decided that we are going to charge ten dollars. Okay. Half of which goes to the top three teams. Okay. And the other half goes to, um, What does
Cathy: that mean? The top three teams?
Todd: Top three brackets. Top three brackets. Yeah. So if you come in first place, you get 60 percent of the winnings.
Todd: Second place, you get 30. Third place, you only get 10%. I want to win. Probably your money back. So half of it’s going to go to the [00:02:00] winning pool and the other half is going to go to the general fund for Special Olympics.
Cathy: Oh, I like that.
Todd: Um, I just chose that. There’s so many wonderful causes out there, but I chose that.
Todd: Um, Uh, I happen to light up whenever I see a person with Down syndrome. I just, I don’t know. I, it’d be inappropriate
Cathy: to be your retirement job.
Todd: I know you’re going to work with men. It’d be inappropriate, but I would just, I just want to go and hug the person. And I don’t do that because we need consent and permission and all that.
Todd: But I just, I, there’s something inside of me that feels connected to people with Down. So anyway, so get your brackets in. We’re just doing the women’s tournament because a lot of people are gonna be choosing the University of Iowa. Because of Katelyn Clark, most people on ESP, so you have to sign up through ESPN.
Todd: So you got to do the whole username and password. I’m sorry for that, but I’m not keeping track of the brackets because it’s too complicated. Um, but most people are choosing the Gamecocks of South Carolina, uh, because they are undefeated. Um, so it’ll be interesting, but I will tell you right now I’m choosing University of Iowa.
Todd: Why are you choosing University of Iowa, sweetie?
Cathy: My [00:03:00] daughter goes to school there. That’s right. And because of Caitlyn of course. And it’s her last year. And so we just gotta like have all our energy going toward the Hawkeyes. But the Gamecocks, that’s where my niece goes to school. I know. So it’s, sorry, Ava, I love Ava too.
Cathy: Um, but not as much as
Todd: Cameron.
Cathy: Yeah. Well, I’m not putting money into the University of South Carolina the way I am the University of Iowa. Oh. We’re putting
Todd: some money into the University of Iowa, I’ll tell you that. Um, I’m in kind of in a silly mood right now, so I’m just going to play a little part of a song and explain why.
Todd: I
Girls: stand, thoughts as fair, around my hair, I’m sinning, oh, I’m sinning.
Todd: So I’m leaving town tomorrow. I have a bazillion things to do today. So oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head. I’m spinning. Oh, I’m spinning. That is my state of consciousness right now. When I [00:04:00] feel like this, I usually feel overwhelmed, but today I’m just treating it very lightly.
Todd: Like I got thrown a curve ball this morning with some head dipping stuff
Cathy: and
Todd: I got scared and now I’m like, Hey, we can do this. Well,
Cathy: and I feel like fear and you know, again, this wasn’t this extreme, but fear or feeling like you’re kind of being pushed down to your knees is an opportunity for growth.
Cathy: Like, and that sounds so cheesy. Um, it’s an opportunity to do something different. Well, and it wakes, it wakes you
Todd: up. And it’s just not about the men living thing. There’s, I got like so many things I have to do before I go to sleep tonight and then I got to wake up early tomorrow. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Are
Cathy: you going to come to bed with your computer again?
Cathy: I don’t
Todd: know. Well, that was for me to figure out this stupid March Madness thing.
Cathy: I actually didn’t mind. I know you
Todd: didn’t. Um, if you did, I wouldn’t have done that.
Cathy: Well, you know why I don’t mind? Because now we have that desk. I know. So you’re not like in bed with a computer. We actually have an office in our bedroom right now.
Cathy: And I know people are like, no, I don’t have an office in your bedroom. But we really just needed another place to go. That’s like our third office, [00:05:00] Todd. We have a podcast office, I have my therapy office, we have an office we share, and then now we have a desk in there. But we, it’s, you think we’re crazy, but we actually, we do so much Zoom work.
Cathy: I like to move around a bit,
Todd: it helps me.
Cathy: And do you work in the podcast office? You don’t work in here, do you?
Todd: Uh, I only take calls in here. Or do interviews or something like that. You know
Cathy: what I want to do? I’m just saying this out loud to you. Behind me, people on YouTube can see behind me. I want to put something where, because when I look at you, you have the, the good things, our, um, phrases that we’ve had at our conference.
Cathy: And I like, you have a bad background. Yeah. I need a good background. So I’m going to work on that.
Todd: I’ll put that on my list.
Cathy: Thanks.
Todd: Um, sweetie, you did a Zen Parenting moment. I did. It was
Cathy: a kind of a follow up from last week’s
Todd: show. And I’m going to just, uh, Play this song.[00:06:00]
Todd: Why am I playing this song? A of bass? Yeah. Why am I playing it? So you
Cathy: name another a of bass song. Besides I saw the sign,
Todd: um, I know I’ve heard of one mm-Hmm. , but I don’t remember it.
Cathy: Remember the first one?
Todd: I
Cathy: can’t, I can’t get my voice up to that range. Go ahead. All that she wants is another baby. Do
Todd: you remember that one?
Todd: Is that more, uh, famous than
Todd: What does Maybe we’ll play this at the, at the romance thing tonight.
Cathy: Why? What does it have to do with anything? I
Todd: don’t know. As a, as a, as a man in a heteronormative relationship with you, I want to give you what you want. I know, but I don’t want another baby, hon. What? Is that what the song is about? Oh, I don’t know what the song is
Cathy: about, honestly.
Cathy: You know, usually I know what a song is about and I don’t know, I know the words to that song, but I don’t know what she wants. Maybe we’ll do it. Does she really want another baby ? [00:07:00]
Todd: I wanna, I wanna know what the lyrics say.
Cathy: Yeah, let’s read me some of the lyrics and then we’ll figure it out. Oh, let’s see what happens here.
Cathy: There’s also another song by Asa Bass that I really like. Um, after, after we’re done with this, she wake up.
Music: Good morning.
Cathy: I don’t hear anything about it, baby. Well wait till the course. Maybe I’ve got the words wrong. Oh, here it comes. Okay.
Girls: Found she was going.
Girls: Is
Cathy: that the words?
Todd: Yeah. All she wants is another baby.
Cathy: So does she mean a baby like crying baby or does she mean like another partner? I think she means a partner. Okay. So she just wants another partner. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, don’t use that in the romance class. Probably not. That’s not what we want to focus on.
Cathy: Check. That’s tonight.
Todd: No, that was last
Cathy: night. That was last night. It’s over, everybody. Sorry, you missed it.
Todd: Hold on. I’m gonna, uh,[00:08:00]
Cathy: When this podcast comes out, our romance class will already be over. But if you were there, I hope you enjoyed it. I hope we did a great job.
Todd: Oh, I’m sure we crushed it. Um, why did you write the Zen Purity moment about astrology?
Cathy: And so what, why, how does this connect? Because it’s called What’s Your Sign? So that’s why Todd was playing.
Cathy: I saw the sign and that’s why we started listening to Ace of Ace. Anyway, it was a follow up to the conversation we had where you brought up Adam Grant’s um, work that he’s done. I actually need, hold on. Hold on, everybody.
Todd: There’s a Kleenex box right there for you, babe. You know, I
Cathy: have
Todd: to
Cathy: go.
Todd: All that she wants is another Kleenex.
Cathy: Okay. Now, for some reason, when we podcast, I feel like I need a Kleenex. Okay. So here’s, here’s what I was saying. We were talking about Adam Grant’s research around astrology and he decided, or he didn’t decide, the research that he was citing, it was from MIT, I think, and it was saying that they found no correlation between Um, between people’s personalities and [00:09:00] zodiac signs, et cetera.
Cathy: And he also warned that we should be thoughtful or cognizant of buying in to something like astrology because then we’re more likely to buy into other things that may not really reflect reality. Um, which I, I respect that because I am someone who, you know, I think we’re in a really culty time. And I think sometimes people really do latch on to certain things that make them feel better or comfortable.
Cathy: And then they have a hard time recognizing the bigger picture. But what I wrote about was kind of, cause I said on the podcast last week, I said, I’m kind of in the middle when it comes to astrology. And so I just kind of explained what I meant by that, which is, I am not, A skeptic, but I’m more skeptical.
Cathy: I also think that where I really enjoy astrology and other models like personality tests and such, that I also don’t think that they entirely represent me. I just like them as a model. I used your quote from last week, which is all models Are what did you say? All models are wrong. Some are useful. All models are wrong and some are useful.
Cathy: [00:10:00] I think that’s, you know, it’s helpful when they help you or when they inspire you or bring some level of self awareness. I think that’s really great. But when we start to over identify, then that becomes, we’re losing our critical thinking skills. But I also think again, many things is that astrology has been around forever.
Cathy: You know, way before religions. Must be something to it. So there’s something to it. It’s just, I think we get too literal about things.
Todd: Like if we can’t calculate it scientifically through the scientific method, then it doesn’t, it has no value or there’s no truth in it. And I’m willing to Believe that there could be truth in almost anything.
Cathy: And so I think there’s a mystery there, and I think not everything is proven by scientific method. And when I say that, I don’t mean I don’t believe in science. What I mean is there’s some things that are still a mystery even within science. And that’s, you know, that’s proven in physics and stuff. So this is, I just think with astrology, we hold it in our hand lightly.
Cathy: We don’t grab it too
Todd: hard. You ready for the next thing? Yes. Let me see if I can get this to work. Let’s see.
Guest 1: Okay. Um, [00:11:00] Ways to spot a Gen Xer. Let’s go. If they use awesome and excellent in everyday conversation.
Cathy: Awesome.
Guest 1: When they tell you they were on the phone and do this. If you sing shooting at the walls of heartache and they sing bang bang with finger guns when they’re telling a story about their past and they say now remember cell phones weren’t around back then they eat dinner around 4 30 p.
Guest 1: m. and are in bed by 9 p. m. So there
Todd: you go. There’s the final speech. So, you shared that with me. I thought it was funny, but I didn’t understand the bang bang thing.
Cathy: Which is so you! How do you not know The Warrior? How do you not know that song? The Warrior! That one? Yes! Shooting at the walls of heartache.
Cathy: What’s the name of the song? The Warrior. I’ve
Todd: seen the movie The Warrior.
Cathy: No, that’s, and so that’s different.
Todd: So the song The Warrior, Patti Smith, and
Cathy: then she, it came out when I was in [00:12:00] seventh grade.
Todd: Okay. Yeah. I needed him to sing it. Cause I’m sure I’ve heard this before.
Cathy: Yeah. It’s like one of the most famous choruses from our generation.
Cathy: I can’t say that everybody knows it, but,
Todd: um, let me see. Uh, all right. I think I got it.
Girls: Stereo jungle child. Kill your fear. Sing that song all the time. Hey! Hey! Keep your eyes on me. Alright. Got it?
Cathy: I like that song. I know it’s a great didn’t great song. I didn’t, he didn’t just, he didn’t present it. Well, he didn’t, but he shouldn’t have to.
Cathy: Oh, he should have had no, the, you know what, I, I love the, the beginning of that song. I just love Oh, I, well, I mean, I love it all, which is my coming. Oh, you’re gonna play it for me? What do you love about it? I just, it’s a great like, rock and roll song. Like, I just like the way it. And the video, are you watching the video?
Todd: Uh, no, this is not the
Cathy: video. The video is messed up, man. Is it? It’s just a [00:13:00] very 80s video. Really bad costumes, um, like they’re trying to tell the story that she’s saying, so it’s like kind of like a monster y guy, and then It’s just if you look at it, you’ll know exactly what I
Todd: mean. I want everybody in their car, in the kitchen, or whatever it is, when it’s time to say bang bang, wherever you are, unless you’re in a meeting, go ahead and say bang bang.
Todd: Are you here with me? But you gotta do the finger guns too. And the finger guns. Here we go. I think it’s coming up.
Girls: Will
Todd: you do it, sweetie?
Girls: Turn it up. All
Cathy: right. Wow, my face is getting better. Do you feel now that you understand? Understand what? That this is one of the Gen X things. Yeah, I, I didn’t get it.
Cathy: Did you understand? Understand the meaning of life? Well, because you [00:14:00] like, thought, I sent that to Todd, that five, the Gen X five things. And he’s like, yeah, I kind of like it, but I didn’t get this one. I’m like, how do you not understand? Now the one I sent it to my girlfriends and they didn’t like the one about eating at 430.
Todd: Because they don’t want to think they’re old.
Cathy: And I texted back, they’re like, we don’t eat at 4. 30 and I texted back, it’s five and I’ve already eaten. Yeah. Like, I, so I don’t do that all the time. Like, you know, a lot of times because if Skye doesn’t get home till six or seven, we wait for her. It’s not that I’m always eating early, but if you give me a choice, I
Todd: totally
Cathy: want to be done with it.
Cathy: And I’m going to
Todd: own the fact that this makes us sound like we’re 80 years old getting a blue plate special in Florida or whatever. But I also say. Because by like 4. 30 I’m kind of done with the day. And I’m not, I think I’m being productive, but really I’m not. I’m distracted. So might as well eat earlier and then maybe I’ll do a little bit of work after.
Todd: Or maybe you and I will go for a walk. Or maybe you and I will watch Fargo, which we’ve been watching lately. And then [00:15:00] we can get to bed earlier. I am so Okay with people making fun of me for going to bed early and waking up early.
Cathy: Well, and I think like the, the whole like old person going to eat at 430 blue, uh, what’s it called?
Cathy: Blue plate special? Is that what it’s called? I don’t know. Early bird special. What’s blue plate? I don’t know. I’ll find it out. Blue plate special. Early bird special. They’re like trying to get a discount and you know, whatever. And it’s not about money. For the record, I love discounts. I know, but that’s not why I’m doing it.
Cathy: And. To my point, I don’t get to do it very often. But if I’m like, yesterday you were gone, Todd drove Cameron back to school after spring break. And so I was kind of on my own, um, because Skye was with her friend. And I was like, I’m going to eat. It’s like four.
Todd: A blue plate special is a term primarily used in diners and restaurants in the U.
Todd: S., particularly during the mid 20th century. It refers to a daily special offered by the establishment, typically written on a blue plate. So that’s not what it Yeah, I should have said early bird. [00:16:00] Early bird special. All right. Very good. Yeah.
Cathy: So anyway, we’re not like trying to retire and be old people. We just want to be done with dinner.
Cathy: You know what? You know what 20 years? What’s that, babe? Tell us. I have been figuring out meals for people and I’m not even a very good cook. And every night for 20 years, I’ve had to be like, this is what we’re eating. And people are unhappy, or I got to go pick up this food, or I got to go to the grocery store and I got to do the dishes.
Cathy: And I’m tired of it.
Todd: You know what I’m going to talk about? So
Cathy: I want to just have what I want to eat when I want to eat it. I’ve been taking care of other people. Terminating a bet. Terminating a bet.
Todd: I’m going to slightly shift the focus before we talk about ordinary and extraordinary. I love my kids. I love all three of them.
Todd: Aren’t they the best? I love their partners, but I will just complain for a second. Oh no. From below the line. Okay. We talked about this this morning. We got a call from one of my kids asking, this is like a week ago, we’re coming back from Michigan. Can you pick me up a [00:17:00] sandwich? Right? Um, she’s like, I’ll order, just pick it up for me.
Todd: And, at the time, Cameron was there with Wyatt, her boyfriend, and Skylar. They have functioning cars, and they’re asking us, who were coming home from a road trip, and we said yes. To pick up their sandwich. We said yes. Yeah, because that’s
Cathy: what people do to help each other.
Todd: I know, but there’s this old crotchety grumpy grandpa part of me.
Todd: Got a
Cathy: crotchety
Todd: side. You, and this is when I like go back and really drop a little line, which is, when I was a kid, I didn’t even have a car, and blah, blah, blah. Um, and then don’t even get me started on DoorDash.
Cathy: I know. Well, they pay for those fees.
Todd: Sometimes.
Cathy: When, when we have not given them permission, they have to pay
Todd: DoorDash.
Todd: But I’m like, why would you ever pay the extra 4 and the 3 tip? Three times money. I guess so. I just didn’t think their time was that valuable.
Cathy: Well, and I’m kind of being facetious because I don’t understand when they’re home and they have a car and they door dash something, I don’t get [00:18:00] that either. But I’m like, if you’re paying for it, you’re making money.
Cathy: You figure it out. Right. So I, and I think at some point they won’t do that. Yeah. Um, you know, they’re just still young. They’re, they just don’t want to go out. But I was telling, I said to Todd this morning, we were talking about this and I was like, When I got my driver’s license and I could go to McDonald’s, I didn’t even think that was a hassle.
Cathy: I was like, I can drive to McDonald’s now. And now we’re just at a point where driving to McDonald’s is a hassle. I mean, that’s what’s funny is like, when I see people and I see, I’ve seen it many times, door dash something like McDonald’s. I’m like, wow.
Todd: Yeah. Because
Cathy: that’s like
Todd: really Or they order McDonald’s ahead.
Todd: There’s people do that too. I’m like,
Cathy: but you’d like to do that because every time you go to Portillo’s, I’m like, put it in ahead of time. Here’s the deal.
Todd: McDonald’s is making the burgers, whether you order it or not. Okay. Portillo’s is getting an order for a burger. And then they’re cooking it.
Cathy: Oh, I see no [00:19:00] difference.
Cathy: Oh. What’s the difference?
Todd: Because I, I, I think what I’m saying is if I get to Portillo’s on time, it’s going to be fresher. Okay. And by the way, Portillo’s sometimes has a long wait. Right. Whereas McDonald’s, I mean, how often is there a long wait at McDonald’s? And it’s likely that they’re pulling a burger that’s already been made.
Cathy: So, but I think I kind of view, the reason why I’m saying just drive through Portillo’s is because I think it’s fresher that way. I think it is. Oh, it is. It is. Okay. Then why, see.
Todd: Because now I don’t have to wait in that line.
Cathy: Oh, so you’re trying to avoid the line. Boom. Okay. Well, isn’t that what everyone’s trying to do then?
Cathy: Even at McDonald’s? Then aren’t you like. Yeah, I guess
Todd: so. Criticizing them? It’s just, it just seems like, um. There’s fast food, and then there’s super fast food. Okay. And I feel like McDonald’s is super fast food, whereas Portillo’s is just fast food. Okay. I have no idea if I’m making any sense at all.
Cathy: Well, it’s just we get kind of stuck in our ways about things where you’re like, no, I want to do it this way, and really it may not make sense, but you like to do it that way.
Cathy: And if you’re the one picking it up, I’m not gonna I
Todd: [00:20:00] love picking up food. I know. It’s what I do. When
Cathy: Todd’s not around, I’m in charge of that.
Todd: Yeah, you had to go to Juul yesterday. How’d that go?
Cathy: It was, it was very nice. The man came up and said, what’s the number? And you had just given me the number and I forgot.
Cathy: So I had to like pull it up. And for some reason, my email wasn’t sending. It was a whole hassle. And so I was like, I think it’s 5834. And he goes, bingo, you got it right. And I said, well, thank goodness. Cause otherwise. I wouldn’t be getting this, this food. But yeah, it is strange that someone comes out and puts our food in the car.
Cathy: Okay. One more point. That’s another thing that’s different between you and I is when I go to the grocery store, I walk through the grocery store. Yesterday, Todd said, again, cause he was going to be with Cameron. He said, pick up the food. I already ordered it. I’m like, okay. But if I’m going to the grocery store, I want to choose my own apples.
Cathy: I don’t want someone choosing those for me. Yeah, I get it. I don’t
Todd: care.
Cathy: I know you don’t care, but I do. I know you do. Skylar and I do. Right.
Todd: Check. [00:21:00] I could tell you’re worried about this. I love you, and I love Skylar, but not enough to go into the grocery store if I can avoid going into the grocery store.
Todd: I know, but you can do self checkout. You can do self checkout. So you don’t have to talk to anybody. You cannot talk to people. Okay, moving along. Um, real quick. I have in my announcements. There is a thing you’re doing on Team Zen called Sephora Kids. Yes. Tell me about that.
Cathy: So my friend, Jen, who is, she’s actually an esthetician in Elmhurst.
Cathy: She is going to lead us or be our guest speaker for, um, this talk about, I’m using the word Sephora kids or that language, because that’s what’s used in the media, which basically means like young, Kids or girls, I’ll focus on girls who are buying a lot of like Sephora skincare and makeup, and they’re being marketed at through TikTok and through all these other media outlets.
Cathy: And really, do they need these 10 serums for their skin? And is this a place, I’m saying, should they be [00:22:00] spending money here? What I mean is, Are we being thoughtful enough about what our kids are being told to do with their skin and with their money? Um, I think in every generation there’s always something the kids are buying up, if it be a toy or whatever.
Cathy: But with skin care, it’s, it’s interesting, right? You know what I
Todd: think when I hear about this?
Cathy: What?
Cathy: Pink Floyd? It’s so cool in our earphones, like those from one to the other.
Todd: That’s what I think about. How much money are these kids paying for something? These kids, for the most part, even if you have acne, you have beautiful skin, I don’t care. And I, I, I don’t mean to minimize it. Don’t minimize, don’t minimize. It’s not minimizing, it’s just, The Kardashians screwed us up. That’s all I want to say.
Cathy: Well, they and that model, because they’re not the only ones, but there is They’re part of
Todd: a system.
Cathy: You know, right now, skincare is a thing and makeup is a thing and everybody who, like, I feel like the things that celebrities are [00:23:00] doing right now is they’re either making alcohol Like they have a gin or they have a wine thing or they have a tequila or they’re making skincare.
Cathy: Like you see it. It’s funny because I was looking for a, um, moisturizer yesterday online because the one that I used to get is now not in stock. And so I was kind of reading, what do I want? And then I found one that I really liked and I’m meaning that I liked the ingredients and everything. And then I read down and I’m like, Oh, it’s Scarlett Johansson’s.
Cathy: Right? Like, I’m like, I didn’t know that. Um, so every, it seems like everybody has, you know, something that they’re creating. And that is why when there’s a celebrity that is creating it, they have access to our kids, right? Because our kids are following celebrities and they’re like, go out and buy my skincare.
Cathy: So, girls are doing this, and you know, to your point about money, there’s all these articles that have been written about, you know, girls checking out at the Sephora counter and it’s like a thousand dollars, and you know, how to get that high and where are their parents, you know, [00:24:00] all that kind of stuff.
Cathy: And, um, And then also, I think Jen is also just going to talk to us about how to talk to our girls about that, but also how to take care of our own skin, you know, because as women who are, you know, anywhere between 35 and 60, we have differing needs. So she’s going to come and talk to us about it. Um, all those things, uh, April 22nd, I believe is the day.
Todd: I’m going to pull it up. And so how would somebody be a part of that? You
Cathy: got to join Team Zen. Oh. Team Zen is where it’s at, everybody. Everybody. If you want to do. These classes, the romance class, this class, I have a women’s group that I run. We have a divorce and, um, separation group. There’s an, uh, talking about addiction group.
Cathy: There’s a new group that was just developed.
Todd: Well, I haven’t started it yet, but it, it, it, it might start. And it’s, uh, parents with kids that are pre adolescent and younger.
Cathy: Yeah. Because obviously a lot of things Todd and I talk about are with older kids. So we want to make sure that people on Team Zen.
Cathy: Who have younger kids have a support group, um, even though what we talk about is pretty [00:25:00] universal for all ages. You kind of want to talk to people that you’re going, you’re having the same experience at the same time.
Todd: 25 bucks a month, cancel at any time. And
Cathy: everything is on an app.
Todd: Yes.
Cathy: So like every day, I like, I look at the circle app and it’s so positive and happy and everyone’s so nice.
Cathy: Yeah, so
Todd: pick it up. Um, before we go on to the main course.
Cathy: Yeah.
Todd: Uh, I was talking to my friend Tony and he said he went to Vegas and he has a referral for us of what we might want to do next time we’re in Vegas. Tell me. Um, Bruno Mars has a club at the Bellagio and he said it’s the most fun club he’s ever been in.
Todd: And actually, when he was there, Bruno Mars was there and he said it was crazy. What makes it more fun than another club? I don’t know. First thing is when I think of a club, I think of like a loud bass and a DJ and all that, but there’s live music. Um, he just said, I’ve never been in a club with this type of energy.
Todd: It’s probably because Bruno was there, but probably, uh, so I
Cathy: used to go to the clubs in Vegas. I went with my girlfriends and you and I went [00:26:00] a few times and it’s sometimes it’s hard to get on the list.
Todd: Uh, yeah, I know. And it’s, yeah, you and I have to be in a very special place to want to go to club. Cause usually the clubs we have to eat by four.
Todd: Yeah. Like, what are we going to go to the club? Well, in six hours after dinner, Yeah, like some of these clubs aren’t open till 11. I know. We’re like, we’re looking at our watch. Does that sound so fun and all that? And, and I used to, I never liked clubs. I had much, I’m a much bigger fan of a dive bar. If you had a choice between a dive bar where nobody’s in there and a, and a fun club, what would you choose, sweetie?
Cathy: Well, that’s hard because that’s like two different aspects of my personality. I mean, I would say a dive bar most of the time. I’d probably give it a 60 40, but a club, the thing about the club is what music is it playing? Because if it’s just boom, boom, boom, then that’s not fun. But sometimes if you can, my girlfriends and I, like when we were on our, I can’t remember.
Cathy: If we did this or not. I think we did table service where we actually had a table and we were kind of like in the middle of the floor and then [00:27:00] they would just bring you bottles and so you don’t have to go anywhere. You’re like in your own little private club within a club. If I’m just going there to stand in a mosh pit, forget about it.
Cathy: No way. I haven’t done that in years.
Todd: What do you think I would choose, sweetie? The dive bar. Yeah, because then we could, we’d get all of us together and then we’d make up a drinking game. Sounds so fun.
Cathy: And
Todd: then we find a jukebox and then Right. Did I say jukebox? Jukebox.
Cathy: Jukebox. Nobody says jukebox out, but that’s how it’s spelled, right?
Cathy: Jukebox? Jukebox? Oh, it’s
Todd: J U K E.
Cathy: There’s a name for this where you say a word too many times and you start to lose track of if it’s really a word. What is that?
Todd: What’s that called? Um Jukebox. I don’t
Cathy: know. Do you know how much money I used to put in jukeboxes? A lot. Oh, so much. I would like want to take it over.
Cathy: I’d be like, I’m going to put so much money in here that it’s all my music. Yeah. It was kind of, um, greedy, kind of not thoughtful to be honest, but I usually played pretty good music. You ready [00:28:00] for my lyric on jukeboxes? Let’s hear it. What do you think I’m going to play? It’s either going to be Joan Jett.
Cathy: Is that what you’re going to play? No. Uh, don’t put another dime in the jukebox. Um, oh, good. Billy
Cathy: Robotics, teenage nuggets. Where does he talk about a jukebox? Sweetie?
Todd: Do I have to play it again for you?
Cathy: I missed it. What’d he say? Say it again. No, you don’t have to play it again. Just read it to me.
Girls: Up next, my sweet, romantic, sexy, bitch, man. He’s hangin out at the loo screen.
Cathy: Well, he says drop a [00:29:00] dime in the box. He doesn’t say jukebox. I know what type of box do
Todd: you think he’s talking? I
Cathy: know it means the same thing, but I was wait, we’re talking about the word jukebox. No, no,
Todd: no. We’re talking about the idea of jukebox. That was, that was awesome. Yeah. I know. Okay, wait, 29 minutes in.
Cathy: All right. So I also want to talk about I made an announcement on Friday that I have a book coming out and I think it’s coming out early early 2025. It’s I know that I have to be done in the next three or four months. So I I’m working hard. Let’s just say that. And the book is called Restoring Our Girls, and, um, I’m really, I’ve been writing it for a long time, and I’ve gotten a lot of help from, um, my daughters and their friends, and my college students, and girls I talk to.
Cathy: I’m doing a presentation on Wednesday, and there’s going to be some girls there, and I ask the same questions. And I You, you find that you get very similar answers regardless of age, regardless of, I mean there’s [00:30:00] some differing with age, but there are, there’s a theme that you can feel. Can you give us
Todd: one of the questions you asked just for fun?
Cathy: Um, yeah, uh, what do you wish your parents understood about you? Um, I ask, what is it that your parents get wrong about you? Um, what is it that, um, what do you wish you could talk to your parents about, but it’s too difficult? Um, what are the things that you wish your parent knew about you? Um, what would it look like if your parents could demonstrate their, like, what does love look like to you?
Cathy: Like, what does that mean to you? Because there’s, I remember, A couple years ago, there was this, um, study that came out, and teenage girls and boys were saying that they felt like their parents were liked them better if they were doing well in school, and that they were much more concerned about their grades than they were about them as people.
Cathy: And I have always kind of kept that in my mind as far as I understand why kids feel that way. Not [00:31:00] because we don’t love our kids. That’s never been a thought of mine, but we’re not communicating effectively. So this book, my intention with this book is to, It’s really about how to have really messy conversations with our kids because they, you need to have conversations that don’t have winners and losers and that don’t have some kind of dramatic end and that don’t have like, that you don’t wrap everything up in one conversation.
Cathy: Messy conversations are open ended. Sometimes there’s this practice of being wrong. On either side, right? You know, having some humility about maybe what you do know or what you don’t know, being willing to apologize, maybe being, you know, nervous about something your kid is telling you. Sometimes, sometimes parents will shut their kids down before their kid will tell them something that’s significant because they’re not quite sure they can handle it.
Cathy: Sometimes they won’t even ask the question, like, are you depressed? Or are you gay? Or are you, you know, Have you been skipping [00:32:00] school? It can, it can be something not about identity because they don’t want the answer. And it’s interesting because I think a lot of us, um, I was gonna tell you, I’m sorry to interrupt this up, but last week you had that same thing and you can hear that you drinking from that because of the, um, this, what is it called?
Cathy: The straw? Yeah. Is metal.
Todd: Yeah.
Cathy: So it clinks the whole time.
Todd: Plastic straw next time.
Cathy: Because last week I was listening and there’s all these points that I can’t hear it. I’m sorry. I do. We just do this right on the show. Cause I’m never going to, I’m never going to remember to tell him anyway. So that’s what this book is about.
Cathy: And I’m also trying to kind of lay out. Todd’s going to take another drink, Todd.
Todd: Sorry, go ahead.
Cathy: Okay.
Todd: Restoring our girls, sweetie. I am so excited for this
Cathy: book. I am. I’m not done. One more thing. I’m also laying [00:33:00] out. The things that our kids, our daughters, wish we knew that we, so we could bring these kind of things to conversations, um, having a deeper understanding of what they need. I think it’s really, um, what’s, not the word intense, I think it’s really like has a lot of information in it.
Cathy: I think it’s going to be very helpful, or I hope so. I think it will be, babe. I’m very excited about it because, man, you know what my life is? Girls. I am with girls all the time. Teenage girls, young girls, young adult girls, younger than that sometimes, you know, pre adolescent girls, but I talk to them all the time.
Todd: Um, I watched the documentary on the Beastie Boys. Yes. And They were Pretty embarrassed. About that song. About that song.
Cathy: I was watching that part with you, and I was glad they said that. It
Todd: was a really good documentary. I think it’s on Apple, um, but I, I knew very little about the Beastie Boys. It weren’t really my style of music, although there’s a few songs that I adore.
Todd: But, um, Well, they got so much [00:34:00] better. Like, we all loved musicians. They were not musicians in the beginning. They were Guys who screamed into a microphone and had very little experience and then they met Rick Rubin and then they had a falling out with Rick Rubin and then they started becoming musicians and that’s when they’re good stuff.
Todd: Well, and
Cathy: that’s what I want to be clear, like rappers are musicians, but they were being led by other people with people. Rick Rubin’s really experienced. Like, respected in the industry, but I feel like they didn’t feel like they had a voice. And so they became, they continued to rap, but they then had their own musicianship.
Cathy: You know what I mean? Like they had their own voice. But yeah, girls, that song was brutal. To do the laundry.
Todd: Yeah. To do the dishes. To do the dishes. Yeah, I was going to play it, but I thought you’d get mad at me, so I didn’t.
Cathy: Yeah, I mean, you know, it’s,
Todd: it’s of its time. Not the message we want to be sending.
Todd: No,
Cathy: not, not when I’m trying to get people to read the story. Restore our
Todd: girls. Okay.
Cathy: Um, all right. Let’s jump in. Okay. Ordinary versus, not even versus. Ordinary moments are really what we’re after. Okay. [00:35:00] So the reason I was thinking about this is I feel like sometimes personally or with our families, we’re always trying to go after these extraordinary things or have things be a certain kind of special or have things be like heightened to a point where we almost, you know, maybe sometimes we can achieve it, but we’re always trying to work to get to something.
Cathy: Yeah. If it’d be like, So, and I mean that with a vacation.
Todd: That’s the first thing I thought of. It’s like, I’ll be happy and connected with my family once we get to Arizona. Right.
Cathy: Or, you know, it could be with our kids, like clubs or their sports. Like, they’re not really an athlete until they get to this level or until they do this thing.
Cathy: or until they have this experience or, you know, our kid is showing us artwork and we’re like, well, you’re not really an artist until somebody else is looking at it and either deciding you get a blue ribbon or a red ribbon. And then it’s also just about our day to day experiences. Like, you know, one thing I know the gift that I’ve [00:36:00] gotten from having times in my life where I’ve been depressed or really anxious is that really all I want is to be able to sit in, in peace.
Cathy: And I don’t mean like in a meditative state. I mean, just sit and be contented, like outside on my front porch and have you around or have the girls around that really what makes us the most happy. is very simple. And now that I’ve had people in my life die, who I love very much, you know, they’re, they’re not here anymore.
Cathy: I’m not like, Hey, I wish I could go on a vacation to Disney World with my dad. I just want to sit on the front porch with him and listen to his voice and watch him walk out. All dressed up like he would always be and just see these really simple and he would always smell so good. It’s
Todd: not the grandiose stuff.
Todd: No. It’s the smaller things that you typically don’t even notice.
Cathy: Correct. And it’s the same with my girls. Like when I think about, you know, now they’re older. They’re all, you know, two adults and one that’s almost an adult [00:37:00] and what I miss from when they were little are their voices. When those little voices, remember we were playing that video of Cameron yesterday?
Cathy: And oh, Cameron’s voice, she was so loud. And she can still talk really loud sometimes. But she was so, like, she had such a, you know, she had this kind of like, she always had these big things to say. And then you’d always hear in the background, JC laughing at her. Like JC just laughed at Cameron in a positive way, not like in a laughing at her to make her sad.
Cathy: But you could hear JC’s laugh. And I miss those things. I miss, you know, sometimes there’s certain pieces of clothing that Todd and I have kept that the girls used to wear. That purple thing I loved. That this purple thing that they would wear, it was kind of like, we called it a cookie monster coat. It was like a jacket that zipped all the way up so they were a little burrito.
Cathy: And we, and all three of the girls wore it. They also all wore the same outfit home from the hospital, that little polka dot outfit, Todd. Yep. You remember? And, um, [00:38:00] we kept those because it’s not, it’s just a. a memory of them that we love. And it’s very simple. It’s a coat. It’s nothing extraordinary. And that I think we forget that relationships happen in the ordinary moments.
Cathy: That sometimes we’re trying to create something grand or, you know, like let’s talk about a meal. A lot of times people, and this doesn’t have to be gender specific, somebody like creates this big meal and does all this work and puts all this time into it when really what it’s about is just being at the table with people.
Cathy: You could go get Chipotle and have the same outcome as far as like being together. Now I understand some people like to cook and that calms them down and makes them happy so I don’t want to disregard that but I just think that I just wanted to emphasize how ordinary is actually what we’re going for.
Todd: Can I, can I play a little bit of, uh, just some of our kids and their younger voices? Sure. Um, [00:39:00] I’m waiting for a good part in the video because I’m watching it. In the meantime, I will just say one thing. Please, please. Uh, I totally agree with you. Casey and I went to Alaska this last summer and it’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen.
Cathy: It’s kind of an extraordinary thing to do though. Totally. Not ordinary. And that’s where
Todd: I’m going with that. Like we flew through the night, six hour flight, blah, blah, blah, did all these things. And I was overwhelmed by, um, the beauty. Okay. Um, and I was in Marietta, Georgia last week and I was just walking and I saw this, you Carrying this bee that was like eight sizes bigger than the ant and I just looked at him like oh my god Like that’s like the most fascinating thing I have ever seen and I remember Eckhart Tolle saying this when he was talking to Oprah ten years ago Whenever that was is like no 20 20.
Todd: Oh my god
Cathy: years ago.
Todd: That’s crazy.
Cathy: Mm hmm
Todd: I, he’s like, if you want to connect with [00:40:00] nature, go outside and look at a 12 inch square piece of grass. And there’s so much happening in there. You know, it’s funny. I say that just because I could be as fascinated looking at an ant carry a bee. as I can looking at a glacier in Alaska.
Cathy: Yeah. And you’re making a point that’s really kind of, you know, where we can play with language is because you are noticing ordinary, extraordinary things. So like, that’s kind of what I mean about, sometimes I just want to sit out on my front porch and smell the air and look at the sun. Those are extraordinary things, but they’re very ordinary things.
Todd: Well, and I guess I totally see where you’re going
Cathy: with that. The fact that
Todd: a blade of grass comes out of the dirt as a result of sun hitting it and it breathing the carbon dioxide that we emit out of our lungs in the soil, like that’s totally ordinary and it’s the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen.
Todd: Or a tree. Look at a tree. I know.
Cathy: Well, you [00:41:00] Skylar the other day is, you know, in Zed, In Zen Buddhism, one of the concepts is we, we have too much language for things. And so when we look at a tree, we think tree and then we look at it and just think, yeah, that’s a tree. But if you pull out the word tree, pretend you don’t know the word tree and you just look at it, it’s extraordinary.
Cathy: It’s ordinary. But it’s amazing because, like, look at it. What’s it doing? And there’s all these animals in it, and there’s all these bugs that live on it. And it’s got, like, right now the, it’s very strange because the trees are blooming. I’m not quite sure they’re supposed to be blooming yet in the Midwest.
Cathy: I don’t know if they are. I think we’ve just had such crazy weather. Maybe I’m wrong. Sometimes I don’t always know when they’re supposed to bloom. But it’s, if you pull the word out. And you just look at it. It’s really amazing. And again, this connects to mindfulness. This connects to, um, you know, slowing down.
Cathy: There’s a lot of concepts that Todd and I always talk about on Zen Parenting Radio that, um, that this connects to. And it [00:42:00] really is a practice, which is why just understanding that ordinary is what we’re going for. Yeah. And a lot of times we believe that if we make this much money or live in this big house or have this amazing chair or go to Alaska, then we’ll be happier.
Cathy: And it can give us a boost. It’s not that it’s necessarily harmful. It’s just, it won’t sustain. It’s not what we’re really going for are ordinary things. You
Todd: ready for some ordinary? Yes. This is, I, I’ll know who it is. I do these videos for our kids on their birthdays and I just picked a random clip.
Girls: It’s
Cathy: like Skylar.
Todd: It is Skylar.
Cathy: Yeah. I was gonna say that’s not because Cameron’s voice
Todd: is different. And it’s her sister’s [00:43:00] laughing at her. It’s both of them laughing. It’s just hilarious. So like. Yeah. That’s like one of a bazillion moments. I happen to catch that one on camera and that’s what it’s about.
Cathy: And the thing is, is let me say to parents who are listening to this, who have young kids that age and you’re like, that’s not that.
Cathy: That’s like my normal everyday. I’m hearing this laughter or that totally. And in no way are we saying to you, yeah, enjoy it more. You can’t because when you’re seeing it every day, it’s not as special and you, and for anyone to tell you that you need to appreciate something more is it’s almost. shaming.
Cathy: It’s like guilting you. You don’t need to do that. Just be with what is. And then there will be a time when you look back on it and you’re like those ordinary days where I was like sprawled out on the couch exhausted from everything we did were where that’s where I built connection with my kids. And so when we.
Cathy: You know, for the parents who are like, I’m not going to have any deep, you know, this connects to my book too. I’m not going to have any deep talks with my kid until it’s the right time, or I’m only going to [00:44:00] hang out with my kids when it’s vacation, or I’m not going to, you know, the, when we’re trying to just, it’s the ordinary moments with our kids that build the relationship.
Todd: Are you ready for a little wisdom from Andy Barnard, sweetie? I’d love to.
Guest 2: The weird thing is, Now I’m exactly where I want to be. I got my dream job at Cornell and I’m still just thinking about my old pals. Only now they’re the ones I made here. I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days.
Guest 2: before you’ve actually left them.
Todd: That’s such a wonderful quote. I used to play that all the time.
Cathy: And, and you know something I will say that’s something I’ve learned now being 50, because you and I have been playing that quote for almost a decade, is that every time you’re in is a good old day. Yeah.
Cathy: You’ll miss every, I miss, I miss aspects of being in my teenage years. I miss my 20s. I miss part of my thirties. Actually, my thirties are a blur. I feel like I was pregnant the whole time. I miss part of being 40. And now [00:45:00] that I’m 50, I realized that when I’m 60, I’ll miss part of being in my
Todd: fifties. For sure.
Todd: Or we’re going to be like, you know, I’m complaining because I did something to my hamstring like two weeks ago. And I still, it’s just not healing well. So I’m sitting there complaining saying, Oh, if I was 35, that wouldn’t have happened. Or if I did it, my body would have recovered quicker. My 60 year old self would be making fun of my 51 year old self saying, dude, at least you didn’t tear it off the bone or whatever it is.
Todd: So, well, sometimes that happens. I know. What is that like an Achilles tendon? Yeah. A ruptured Achilles tendon. I mean, there’s a lot of different things. So anyways, I can complain that my body doesn’t work the way that it once did, but I know my My 60 year, 70 year old self is saying, dude, you’re 51. What are you worried about?
Todd: You have everything. But instead it’s just easy for us to complain about what used to be.
Cathy: I feel the same way. And you know, I actually, I did yoga this morning and on my left foot, I’m having, it’s not plantar fasciitis. I’ve had that before, but it’s like there’s some kind of [00:46:00] tingling or discomfort. I get when I’m doing certain poses, I can actually push on it right now.
Cathy: And all I think about while I’m in the pose though, is you’re doing good work, at least. driving some blood there. Like, I don’t want to stop using my foot. Obviously I don’t want to, obviously I can’t stop using my foot. What I mean is like, I’m not going to let that keep me from doing yoga. And I just feel like if I’m thoughtful about it and keep working through it and like, you know, treating it well, it will heal just like everything else has healed.
Cathy: And maybe it’ll take a little longer. Maybe I’ll need support at some point, but I don’t, I think that we have to recognize that everything is like, for example. I have Todd and I like to compete with Todd because he likes to compete with me and I just, you know, went to the doctor again, got my blood work done.
Cathy: I feel like there’s so many doctors we have to go to now. Do you feel like that way?
Todd: Uh, not
Cathy: because we’re sick,
Todd: but because that wouldn’t be the word. I’m trying to be a little smarter with My medical
Cathy: care. Me too. Me too. And, and it just so happens to be, this is the [00:47:00] time when I see all these people and get all these things checked off the list.
Cathy: But I got my blood work back a couple of days ago and it’s better than it was when I was in my forties, meaning everything’s normal. Whereas before it’d be like, Oh, you don’t have enough D or your iron is low or whatever. And so there’s a lot of reasons for that because I take care of myself. But I also believe that this idea that we’re going downhill all the time is not true.
Cathy: It’s not true. And that even if, and it can be, but it doesn’t have to be. And I’ve had plenty of health scares in between. I’ve had, I probably had more when I was younger than I do now. Um, but I also feel like appreciation of this time, which is very ordinary, you know, just enjoying the fact that it’s, Todd and I are recording on a Monday, it’s morning.
Cathy: You know, we got, we both got a pretty good night’s sleep, which isn’t always the case. Um, you know, still have a daughter at home. Um, it’s a little cold outside, but not freezing. Like I’m just appreciating just very normal [00:48:00] things.
Todd: Can I, um, do my best to inspire a bit and maybe, you know, this, uh, Tom Brady, he played quarterback in case you’ve never, I’ve heard of Tom Brady.
Todd: Yes. Uh, he recently, he’s 46. And he recently ran the 40 yard dash. Now, when you are getting scouted for the combine, when you’re getting drafted as a younger player in the NFL, you run the 40 yard dash. Okay. And he ran his 40 yard dash in 5. 18 seconds. And when he was 20 years old, he, uh, did it in like 5. 2 seconds.
Girls: Wow.
Todd: So at 46, he ran it faster than he did when he was 21 or however old he was. So I say that to myself that, that typically the way aging happens is that there’s a slow downward trend of what our cells can and cannot do. And at the same time. We don’t have to be a victim or at the effect of all these things either.
Cathy: Well, and we don’t have to buy into just a standard line. Like, I, you know, [00:49:00] you know, especially at my age, there’s a lot of talk around menopause, um, and I have a lot of wise friends around me who are kind of helping me with these kind of things, even though I found out I’m not. Thought I was going through menopause and I’m not.
Cathy: Um, I’m not there yet, Todd. I just got my numbers back and she’s like, no, you’re not there. So um, but I, you know, there’s obviously a perimenopausal thing being 52 and that we believe a lot of things about that. Everything’s negative and everything’s bad and, and it doesn’t have to be that way. These are, it’s because not enough research has been done on women or with women.
Cathy: And when you really start to talk to people who understand it and read these books, there’s so many books and so many. People to follow on social media and stuff and just talk to your friends who actually have some experience. There’s, there’s no reason that the next 30, 40, 50 years for me don’t have to be amazing.
Cathy: Yeah. You know what I mean? And um, and an amazing means something different, you know, just like we’re talking about going to the club. Like when I was 20. Going to a club in [00:50:00] Vegas was amazing. Sure. And now what’s amazing to me is different. And I, I love that. Like that’s, I don’t, I don’t like the negativity around changing or that we’re supposed to stay the same or that aging is a problem.
Cathy: Like I’ve really enjoyed See, now we
Todd: can crush a club even better than we could when we were 20. Maybe they’ll
Cathy: let us in at 3 p. m. We’re here! We have dinner reservations at 4. So can we dance and get out of here? But you know what, Todd? Like, why not?
Todd: Because the club’s not open yet.
Cathy: I know. That’s not going to happen.
Cathy: That thing. But I kind of feel like there’s so many things that I’m doing. And again, my children are older, so I have a little more space in my life than I did ten years ago. That’s for sure. But there’s things I’m doing like, you know, Todd and I were just talking before we started, I’m going to buy a new drum set because I’m actually drumming more.
Cathy: And then I’ve been drumming for two years now or a year and a half. And it’s something that probably in my 30s, I would have been like, well, that’s dumb. I should have started that when I was [00:51:00] younger. Why? I, I think part of getting older is you’re like, why not? I’m not competing against someone. I’m not trying to be in a band.
Cathy: You know, I just like it. It just the way I, you know, we like anything else. We don’t worry about the things we used to worry about.
Todd: I’m going to give you two examples. One is I’m going to go back to my hamstring. Okay. About how it ripped off the bone? Yeah. I’m having a hard time getting over that in my brain.
Todd: So I can complain that my hamstring’s tight and I can’t go out for a run today. Okay. Or I can, and I think this is important to note, it doesn’t mean I’m pushing my emotions aside because it does suck. I want to go for a run today, I can’t go for a run, blah, blah, blah. You know what else is working? When I ask my hand to open up, it does.
Todd: And when my, I look out my eyeballs, I can see and hear and I don’t know whatever the liver, the pancreas, the lungs, and the heart, all these other, all these other systems that are happening in my body that are working really super well. Yet I draw my attention to the one [00:52:00] thing that isn’t. So the invitation is for each of us to, yeah, like just own the fact that your version of the hamstring isn’t working well, but don’t forget about these other 99 things that are working well.
Todd: And you know, we’re wired to scan the environment for threat. We’re out to survive. We, we, we tend to focus on things that are going wrong and it takes, um, you know, intentional consciousness to also focus on the things that are going right.
Cathy: Exactly. And I actually just saw, um, I was gonna, okay, so there’s a CNN anchor.
Cathy: Her name is Sarah Sidner and she, um, I’m not quite sure how long ago, but she told people, she found out she had, um, stage three breast cancer and she, It has been going through treatment and she posted something the other day. I’ve watched it two or three times, you know, kind of where she is now in her journey.
Cathy: And I think she’s on her sixth chemo treatment. And then she has, after that she has radiation and then a mastectomy, you know, she’s got a, she’s [00:53:00] got a ways to go. But what she’s, what she shared that was so meaningful to me about the ordinary things is she’s like, I’ve been so mean to my body since like, you know, since she started to.
Cathy: You know, the culture and society told her her body had to be a certain way and she’s been so angry with her body and she’s like, and now that I’m going through this and I’m recognizing my body and I feel more attached, you know, more embodied, she goes, I’m so grateful for this body that can fight with me, fight for me, that it’s been taking care of me, that it’s been, you know, walking me around, that it’s been allowing me to be who I want to be.
Cathy: And, you know, I, I, I re watch things like that when people have those awarenesses, because I’ve had them too when I’ve been sick or whatever, but sometimes you need, you need those reminders of like, and you don’t, I kind of always feel like the people who are in extreme circumstances, like she’s dealing with stage three breast cancer, which some of you listening may have experienced yourself or other people around you, [00:54:00] but it doesn’t have to get to that point all the time for you to have that recognition or appreciation of your body, you know, like, I still struggle with certain aspects of my body, and every time I do, I try to say things out loud, like, Hey, this is just Hey, we’re in this together.
Cathy: This is who I’ve been, man. This is me. This is my body. And I’ve never, you know, for as much, you know, pressure I put on myself or cultural demands that I’ve given into. I’m, I really like being at a point where I’m still human and I have moments, but for the most part, I’m just going to, you know, those jeans don’t fit, so I’m not going to wear them.
Cathy: I’m going to wear something that like makes me feel good. That makes me feel like I’m in my element and that I am honoring my body rather than forcing my body to be, you know, a way it’s not supposed to be. So anyway, I just thought I’d share that.
Todd: Thank you. Um, and a few things as we get close to closing the show, um, I’m going to name some names of, and I just put in something like old dog, new [00:55:00] tricks.
Todd: Like who are some famous examples of older people who accomplished great things? Okay. All right. Um, and let me, and this will be like a quiz for you and you tell me if you’ve ever heard of them or what they did. And I know some of them for sure you have. Marlon Sanders.
Cathy: Uh, that’s the Kentucky Fried Chicken guy.
Cathy: That’s the Colonel. His beady eyes. His
Todd: beady eyes. Maybe I’ll play that clip if I can find it. He founded KFC at the age of 65. All right. All right. Pretty good. All right. 65 year old man creating a restaurant that we all have driven past. Yes. Uh, Grandma Moses. Uh, no. I’ve heard of her, but I didn’t know what she did.
Todd: She began her prolific painting career at the age of 78. Nice. Becoming one of America’s most celebrated folk artists. This person I know you haven’t heard of, Fauja Singh, S I N G H, a British Sikh centurion, and when I say Sikh, S I K H, or Sikh. Seek. Seek. Seek. Seek.
Cathy: Yeah.
Todd: Took up marathon running at the age of 89 and went on to complete numerous long distance races, including several full marathons.[00:56:00]
Todd: Love it. 89. Diana Nyad.
Cathy: Yeah.
Todd: We know what she did. She
Cathy: swam the, you guys have to watch the movie Nyad with Annette Bening and Jodie Foster. It’s so good. I mean, it’s,
Todd: It’s good. It’s good. It’s very good. Like
Cathy: I, I was crying at the end. Let’s just say that.
Todd: Nobody has ever done it. I know. And she did it at the age of 64 after several.
Cathy: And she tried in her 30s. Yeah. And, and, you know, it was still amazing, but she failed at her goal. Yeah. And so then try, that’s what the movie’s about. Like how many times she tried into her 60s. Cause she thought she was going to get it done when she was 60. Those jellyfish, sweetie. You know, those damn jellyfish.
Cathy: Box jellyfish, whatever that is. Um. So I think that, um, Kind of what we’re saying is like, we’re, we are the age we are, right? So let’s do with it what we can. If we are young, if you guys have young kids and you’re with them right now, and you’re like, oh, and they need so much time, that’s where you are. It’s not something you need to change.
Cathy: You’re not doing it wrong. That’s where you are. And you do the best you can with it. And you try and make [00:57:00] as much time for yourself as you can. And then as you get older, and maybe your kids aren’t as around, aren’t around as much or they’re, you know, leaving the house or whatever. Find things that you love, like it’s not too late to do things you enjoy.
Todd: That’s right.
Cathy: Are you gonna play?
Todd: Yeah, I’m looking for it. Here it is. Okay.
Guest 3: Who’s in this Penha? The Queen. The Vatican. The GTIs. The Rothchilds. I’m Colonel Sanders before he went tes up. Oh, I hated that. Colonel with his we.
Guest 4: PDI. And that smug look on his face. Oh, you’re gonna buy my chicken. Oh, dad, how can you hate?
Guest 4: The Colonel.
Guest 3: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly smart arse.
Todd: Forget about it. It’s like the funny. Oh, we got to do this one.
Cathy: Do you? We have to say what it’s from.
Todd: Go ahead. It’s from
Cathy: So I Married an Axe Murderer, Mike Myers movie, 90s. If you haven’t seen it,
Guest 5: it’s a [00:58:00] virtual P planet heed.
Guest 5: I’m the size of that. Boy’s heed. Shh. I’m not kidding. It’s like an orange on a toothpick. She’s gotta give the boy a complex. Well, that’s a huge No, that’s a virtual P planetary has its own weather system. Heat! Move! My
Todd: god. Mike Myers. So good. Uh, I’m gonna, um, say thank you to Jeremy Graff, Jeremy Kraft. Say his name correctly.
Todd: He’s a bald headed beauty. You need a new kitchen, need a new bathroom, need your house painted inside, outside, Chicagoland area, mostly west suburbs, uh, 630 956 1800. There’s any guys out there that want to join me at a men living weekend out in Virginia at the end of April. You can just go to the show notes and don’t forget to get your ballot in, your bracket in for March Madness.
Todd: I want to win. I don’t know if I’ll win. I don’t, I don’t know if I know enough about the teams. Well, the good news is like, you don’t have to know anything because they have
Cathy: [00:59:00] seedings. Well, they have seedings. And it also, what I thought you were going to say was, that’s sports. You really, even if you have a lot of knowledge, you never know what’s going to happen.
Todd: No, you don’t know what’s going to happen. So get your March Madness, support, uh, people with Down syndrome. How
Cathy: will they figure this out?
Todd: Just click on the link in the show notes. Okay. All right. Um, anything else, babe? That’s it. Everybody have a great week. We love you. Keep trucking.
