Siblings, Screen, Meltdowns, College- ZenTalk #49

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
4:00 Anita has two daughters (13 & 11) and they are really mean to each other.

15:00 Judy has a son who is programming on his computer at all hours of the day and he’s letting school work slip.

Jacqueline & Matt have a 3-1/2 year old daughter who is emoting (hitting/melt downs) in a way that doesn’t fit their plans.  

Liz has an 18 year old who is a freshman at college and is struggling with anxiety and some depression.  Liz sometimes feels helpless and is asking for support.

Husbands, Friendships – ZenTalk #48

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
5:12 Sarah needing support regarding “asking permission” to do certain things- she says it doesn’t feel right.  
20:26 Kristen is going to the Women’s March and needs help with some clarity why it’s important.  
27:49 Jennifer’s 10 year old daughter is struggling with friendships.  What’s the appropriate balance with boundaries and and allowing? 
44:30  Joe’s 6 year old son is farting and is inappropriate many of the times. 

Tweens, School, Disobedience- ZenTalk #47

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
2:30 Learning how to let our pre-teens deal with adversity
10:17 My 5 year old cries at school at seemingly common things
19:34 My 6 year old son is quiet at school, but his behavior becomes extremely erratic once he gets home from school.  Examples- hitting his brother and having bathroom mistakes
40:25 Jen checks in and asks for support.  

Debbie Reber, Neurodiversity, Siblings ZenTalk #46

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
0:00 Intro
6:17 Erin has a differently wired kid.  She wants to know how/what to do before her son gets the nueropsychology  evaluation.  
10:58 Erin’s son is adopted.  How does that play into it?
12:59 Description of Differently Wired podcast
14:15 Todd’s client’s son is 3 and has not been able to get consensus from the professionals.  
16:06 Nicki over shares about her differently wired daughter.  
19:37 Nicki’s struggling with the docctor’s request for her 14 year old daughter to start taking a more active role in her own care.  
24:40 Cathy’s college students struggle with Tilt #3- “Don’t Worry About What Other’s Think”
34:54 Dawn sees her own issues of overthinking situations
42:58 Heather- Sibling rivalries- HELP!!! 11 year old dumps all his baggage on his 7 year old.  
51:56 Does humor help?  
56:10 Debbie’s close

School, Friendships, Divorce- ZenTalk #45

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
0:22 Nikki has been advised by the school that her daughter should not be friends with one of her friends because of serious behavioral issues that have arisen.  She and her daughter both like this girl, but she doesn’t want to be naive.  
18:33 Grapes- seedless or not?  
22:15 Struggling with the social dynamics with her daughter and friends in the car.
38:10 Jennifer is going through some significant life changes and has asked the Team for support.  

ZenTalk-Sex Ed

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
To get most out of this presentation, it would help to download the power point we worked from.  It can be found here.  

Emotional Intelligence, Self-compassion, Toddler, Friendships- ZenTalk #44

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
1:15 Todd’s jealous of other podcasts and how we should deal with envy
5:40 Kim has a sensitive 4th grade son who is starting to show signs of internalizing his feelings. 
27:13 Sandra has an 11 year old daughter who has self-esteem issues and is way too hard on herself.
41:15 My toddler is in the same pre-school as a child whose parents are neo-nazi’s.  Should I restrict any time spent with his friend?  
51:10 My 15 year old now finds herself with friends who can drive.  What guidelines should I put onto this? 

Tween Friendships, Disobedience, Nuerodiversity- ZenTalk #43

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
1:06 My 6th grade son is trying really hard to be one of the “cool kids” at the expense of his existing friendships

18:00 My 6 year old daughter is lying to us.  I’m not sure why and not sure how to hold her accountable for her actions.  

31:06 My 13 year old is wired differently and it’s impacting our whole family.  I’m not sure how to meet everybody’s needs. 

Meltdowns, Tweens, School, Self-care- ZenTalk #42

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
0:38 3-1/2 year old flips out b/c there’s a hole in his bread

4:54 6th grader needing help with time management

10:56 How men can best support with the #metoo movement

23:17 When school is telling the parents how to organize the kids

36:50 Kelsey struggling with self-care when she’s triggered

Siblings, ZenTalk #41

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
0:15 Chores, Allowances, Babysitting, & Family Meeting

26:27 How Do I know when it’s time for professional help for my son?

36:23 Bonding with one kid is easier than the other.

60:04 Feelings about the Kavanaugh/Ford Senate Committee Hearing

Boundaries, Anxiety, Disobedience- ZenTalk #39 (2nd try)

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
0:48 Malini was raised by a “Tiger Mom” and is struggling to evolve from the pattern created from her parents.  Finding the balance between boundaries and compassion.   

24:53 Erin is challenged by her 2nd grader who is displaying anxious and angry behavior.  

43:41 Jen is challenged by her 7 year old who will not stop talking back.

Boundaries, Anxiety, Disobedience- ZenTalk #39

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
0:48 Malini was raised by a “Tiger Mom” and is struggling to evolve from the pattern created from her parents.  Finding the balance between boundaries and compassion.   

24:53 Erin is challenged by her 2nd grader who is displaying anxious and angry behavior.  

43:41 Jen is challenged by her 7 year old who will not stop talking back.

In-Laws, Husband, School, Boundaries, Sports, Body-Image- ZenTalk #38

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
2:49 Jen’s husband’s family ostracizes her family and it hurts.  Jen’s not sure how to process through the pain and how it relates to her own childhood wounds.

31:22 Dawn’s kids are going to school full time and she’s excited, but anxious about her addiction to be “productive” with this upcoming freedom.

43:33 Lauren is working at her child’s school and needs some support regarding boundaries with this new dynamic.

48:00 Lavina’s son is sensitive, and now is old enough to have to deal with coaches who yell.  She wants to know how best to support her son.

57:49 Kelly was at a store buying school clothes with her daughter and witnessed some body shaming language from one of the employees and she didn’t know whether she should go back and speak with the store manager.

Resources

Above/Below the line video

Rob Bell’s podcast on “Rest”

Toddler Meltdowns, Anxiety, Siblings- ZenTalk #37

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
7:00 4-1/2 year old melts down whenever she makes a mistake with writing or her art work.  Mom struggles because her daughter is putting too much pressure on herself.

21:54 10 year old son has a peanut allergy.  Not sure how to keep him paralyzed from fear (refusing to go to a birthday party he wants to go to) and how to balance out keeping him informed while at the same time not using fear as the only motivator

34:46 Mom made an unpopular decision at work and was ostracized for it and is struggling to process through it.  

47:02 12 year old son is challenged because he doesn’t like doing things his parents and siblings want to do on family vacation.

Boundaries, Toddlers, Emotional Intelligence, Anger, Screens, College- ZenTalk #36

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps
3:36 1-1/2 year old son is overly affectionate towards strangers- How do I teach him without dampening his spirit?

15:53 13 year old daughter displaces her frustrations on the family.  How do I let her have her feelings while at the same time have her to take responsibility for how she’s treats others?

34:28 How do I deal with my daughter’s addition to technology?

56:29 My 18 year old wants a tattoo- I don’t want her to get one.  What do I do?

Toddlers, Meltdowns, Anger- ZenTalk #35

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps

0:00 Is my kid better off in day care, or should we keep him at home?

14:26 What’s the difference between empathetic distress and empathetic concern and how do i deal with the feeling “bad” for all the problems in the world?

39:05 My 5th grade son is hot-tempered and doesn’t fit into the social norms currently.  What do I do?

Resources

Hannah Gadsby Netflix special “Nanette”

Self-Compassion, Disobedience, Divorce, Toddlers, ZenTalk #34

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps

0:00 11 year old step son is parented much differently in his other house and is taking a toll on our household. 

16:02 Any tips to deal with the cavemen we love in our lives? Especially when they are below the line.

17:02 Estranged and aging mom is going into a nursing facility and Team member doesn’t know whether or not she should go see her mom.  Healthy boundaries have been set and she doesn’t know if she should modify those boundaries. 

45:37 4-1/2 year old, (only child) and is having trouble controlling her actions. She hits, kicks, and scratches mom.  It has gotten out of hand.

Resources

How Do I Get My Partner To….- Podcast# 423

When Someone You Love is Toxic – How to Let Go, Without Guilt

Setting Boundaries With Love Podcast #198

Divorce, Tweens, Husbands, In-Laws, Boundaries, Toddlers, Disobedience- ZenTalk #33

By Todd Adams on

Discussion & Time Stamps

0:00 11 year old step son is parented much differently in his other house and is taking a toll on our household. 

16:02 Any tips to deal with the cavemen we love in our lives? Especially when they are below the line.

17:02 Estranged and aging mom is going into a nursing facility and Team member doesn’t know whether or not she should go see her mom.  Healthy boundaries have been set and she doesn’t know if she should modify those boundaries. 

45:37 4-1/2 year old, (only child) and is having trouble controlling her actions. She hits, kicks, and scratches mom.  It has gotten out of hand.

Resources

How Do I Get My Partner To….- Podcast# 423

When Someone You Love is Toxic – How to Let Go, Without Guilt

Setting Boundaries With Love Podcast #198

College, Teens, Disobedience- ZenTalk #32.5

By Todd Adams on

0:00 Needing advice on how to address the issue of our 18 yo not having a job. He took community college classes this spring after pursuing that by his own choice (yay!). But we stipulated he needed a part-time job. That would have been the deal if he went to a 4-year college as well. He would need money if his car required repairs.
His response is that he doesn’t need a job since he’s not spending money. He’d saved up from previous jobs, so he’s tapping that and using a tiny allowance.
My husband struggles with trying to control him and sometimes pesters him about the job. My son said he applied to places and hasn’t heard. Not sure he did. I try to bring it up in a positive way once a week.
I’ve asked my husband to focus on their relationship, since that’s more likely to lead to good things. They’ve had a rocky time the past few years. And his attempts to control or take privileges away in the past had bad results. He sees our son as a slacker and wants him to step up. I see him as our immature first born. My husband gets my viewpoint, but struggles to embrace it.
Any thoughts or advice?
Cathy

14:48 Calling on healthy parents of teens! Help! We discovered our 16 yr old has been vaping. This is the second discovery and replacement of the first device that we confiscated months ago. Lots of lying and hiding going on as one might imagine.
Identifying 2 sep issues here- 1 addiction behavior and addressing that. 2- identifying distrustful and connection exiting behavior.
I want to be able to address the dishonesty and assess an appropriate consequence… or do I? I want to remain a trusted resource and remain always approachable. If assigning consequences is supposed to be a deterrent, what I’ve done so far isn’t working. Can I really assign a consequence that is effective given that he is 16 years old?
He shared that he didn’t want to share his behavior because he enjoys smoking and thinks he is addicted- feels shame about this and also doesn’t want to have to stop. He knew if we found out we would make him stop.
Super stuck! Any experience with something similar? Ideas?