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Discussion & Time Stamps
3:38 My husband and I are not in agreement regarding how to set boundaries on our 13 year old son.
28:42 My 10 year old is asking me why I am working so much.
35:41 My kids are getting horrible sleep. What do I do?
44:50 Where is the balance between empathizing with someone’s situation and not allowing myself to be taken advantage of?
52:17 My in-laws are taking advantage of me.
58:16 When things get back to normal from Covid l- I’m not sure how to respond as restrictions loosen.
12:03:39 From Malini DiClemente : It’s Steve
12:05:47 From jacqueline : I have a question if there’s time
12:08:28 From Steve George : This sounds very familiar.
12:10:03 From Judy Aday : If there is time, I have a question about sleep. My kids are around me, so I’d rather not say the question out loud. I know you mentioned sleep before and that many people have trouble with sleep. My two older kids (16 and 15) have trouble falling asleep, sometimes are up till 1-2-3. Last night my daughter couldn’t fall asleep till 7am. An advice what could help? Thank you!
12:19:22 From Judy Aday : Just to add to my question – none of us take electronics to our bedroom, and the kids (thankfully) understand and agree with it.
12:19:44 From Alicia.Schultz@cuw.edu : I just need to say that this is so on point for me.
12:20:20 From Christel Nicholson : some kids will appreciate the extra responsibility and privileges. so if you present it like he gets to stay up but he has to be trusted to listen to the alarm on his phone and turn off his games. and if he doesn’t then turn WiFi off when you go to bed at night ??
12:21:58 From Christel Nicholson : having a conversation with him where he comes up with ideas to help himself remember to turn off games ? if he is in involved with solutions maybe he will appreciate loosening up the rules?
12:24:31 From karnigriffin : it’s hard when my son’s friends are up very late and sleep til 1pm and we have bedtimes too
12:25:18 From karnigriffin : (he’s 12) and bedtime is later than it was when we were in school
12:26:05 From karnigriffin : my kids equate not bending these type of rules w/ us not understanding them
12:26:32 From karnigriffin : but i think back to Millie with her daughter and the phone.
12:26:54 From karnigriffin : to Malini’s husband: our kids think our rules are the worst too
12:27:25 From karnigriffin : Millie- thanks for the text. we aren’t coming to CA this summer most likely =(
12:28:21 From Millie Hsi : Karni, another summer then! For Malini & Steve, I am also thinking back to Rachel Simmons’ talk at the conference. It’s hard for us parents who may be high achievers, rule followers, goal setters who meet their goals, to have kids who haven’t joined the bandwagon. It’s hard when they don’t approach a situation like we would have. But I have to keep reminding myself that they are their own people. I cannot expect them to act like me.
12:38:39 From jacqueline : Thanks for the chat! Gotta go now, bye for now 🙂
12:39:10 From Millie Hsi : Dr. Darius – Sleep podcast: zen parenting radio dr darius podcast
12:39:33 From Millie Hsi : Whoops…here it is…https://zenparentingradio.com/podcasts/sleep/
12:41:11 From Cathy Adams : who is next?
12:41:46 From Malini DiClemente : Thank you T and C for talking with us 🙂
12:42:11 From Cathy Adams : does anybody else have any other sleep ideas?
12:42:28 From Millie Hsi : Having had both my husband and mom see sleep specialists and understanding more how sleep works, one thing I’m suspecting why my own teen is having trouble falling asleep at night is: 1) sleep pressure is not being built up as much as before the pandemic; and 2) she may not be getting enough sun during the day. Sleep pressure has to do with how we build up the need for sleep during the day.
12:42:39 From Malini DiClemente : Hopefully Steve will give himself the space to think about what was discussed on a deeper level for himself.
12:45:35 From Cesa Schmidt : My kids are much younger, but if we don’t play hard enough during the day they don’t sleep well. We take them for a walk each night and they walk most of it which tires them out and they sleep much better.
12:46:00 From Millie Hsi : FYI Re sleep pressure, what I learned from the sleep specialist is that naps do not help nighttime sleep. If you release that pressure during the day with a nap, you will not need to sleep at the appointed time at night.
12:46:15 From Samsung Galaxy S7 : we aren’t moving our bodies as much!
12:46:48 From Judy Aday : Thank you!
12:52:53 From Cathy Adams : anybody else?
12:53:35 From Christel Nicholson : my issues are usually with family. my in-laws are terrible with money and smoke pot every day and they used to babysit for their rent/bills. since covid they are not babysitting the 6 hours a week they used to babaysit and I think they should pay something. even if it’s 10$ a month. but my husbands mom is not a rational thinker and always the victim and he doesn’t want the stress of the conversation. but I hate hate hate not feeling like people are earning their own way. I have been too much a rescuer and I have taken care of too many people without them helping themselves
12:53:50 From Jennifer : I have something quick.
12:55:00 From Millie Hsi : Brene Brown and Dr. Mark Brackett: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/dr-marc-brackett-and-brene-on-permission-to-feel/
12:56:49 From Malini DiClemente : Thank you again!
13:01:05 From karnigriffin : i feel that way too Jen
13:01:17 From Steve George : This is a struggle I am facing as well.
13:01:33 From Emily Chang : me too, was just thinking about that today
13:02:44 From Christel Nicholson : you are always in charge of your children’s education. and things will not look “normal” for awhile. social distancing will be a thing tell vaccine is developed. that will take at least 1-2 years
13:03:54 From Samsung Galaxy S7 : i feel you! i also have to decide whether to go back to work or not!
13:05:02 From Samsung Galaxy S7 : Am I okay right now? yes 🙂
13:05:06 From Millie Hsi : Maybe focus on what you CAN control this day, just today…as a way to help with anxiety.
13:05:49 From karnigriffin : thanks guys
13:06:02 From Christel Nicholson : it helps me to think about the past when we didn’t have antibiotics or vaccines. we are better off now
13:06:14 From Samsung Galaxy S7 : when is the next tribe meeting?
13:06:16 From Emily Chang : Thank you!!
13:06:25 From Millie Hsi : Sending hugs!
13:06:51 From Jennifer : Love you guys! Thank you for this team!
13:06:57 From Alicia.Schultz@cuw.edu : OMG that idea of emotions taking energy. Wow. Such a realization. So helpful.