1. We are creating a support micro-community called “Circle of Friends”.  It’ll be a group that will more deeply support one another especially on the days when you feel like pulling your hair out by getting on a zoom call ASAP.  No commitment- get on when you can.  Email me @ toddadams23@gmail.com to find out more.  We’ll probably need at least 15 members before formally creating the community.
  2. We will do another Zen Talk on Friday.  I posted a facebook poll on which time works better, please vote and we’ll send an email out on Thursday and let you know which time we decide on.
  3. Zen Talk # 85 is in the books.  Click here to catch the video, or listen on the podcast app from your phone.
  4. Zen Talk #86 will be Tuesday, April 21st @ 12:00 PM Central.   The link to all future zen talks will be this link–  please save it somewhere so it’ll be easier for you to access. https://zoom.us/j/853203000
  5. If you have any friends that you think might be a good fit for the Team- have them sign up for 1 free month by using the coupon code “friend” and I’ll send you something out of our zen store– just let me know what you want.  Just shoot me an email after they have joined the Team.
  6. To see future Zen Talks you can go either go to the events page on the Team Zen Facebook page, or go to https://zenparentingradio.com/what-we-do/events/
  7. Don’t forget to the get on the Team Zen facebook page (if so inclined)- wonderful questions/answers/resources/inspirations.  Don’t be afraid to chime in to support another Team Member who is looking for some support.
  8. If you have any ideas for Cathy and I do improve your overall Team Zen experience, please let me know.

Keep on truckin’!!!

Todd

Discussion & Time Stamps

0:00 Famous people banter

13:15 I can’t tell how my college daughter is adjusting to our new normal

25:35 My husband is not following Covid guidelines and wants to travel

44:30 My 6 year old son is hitting us.  I’m starting to lose it

Resources

Differently Wired: A Conversation With Debbie Reber- Podcast #442

Tribe Men’s Group

Chat

12:02:04 From Cathy Adams : who is the famous person you have ever talked to?
12:03:14 From Kristen : lionel Richie
12:03:53 From Emily Chang : Sharon stone at LAX, but she didn’t talk back to me 😂
12:04:49 From SHAUN EMERSON : pudge fisk
12:04:52 From Diane : OMG I LOVE JOHN KRASINKSI
12:05:52 From Peggy Jividen : Todd, how about the Andy, the Headspace Guy, the guy you saw in the airport?
12:06:13 From Kristen : super nice guy
12:06:21 From Kimmee Sauerwine : Kelly Clarkson
12:06:42 From Anita Fudalewski : I’ve met Hugh Jackman twice! 😍
12:07:12 From Anita Fudalewski : Super fan!!
12:07:36 From Christel Nicholson : I sat next to Jane sanders during a small meet and greet with Bernie
12:07:40 From Tina : King George from the Chicago Hamilton cast
12:07:50 From Mimi Inahuazo : I saw Marc Anthony lol
12:07:53 From Kim Gardner : played pool with Keith & Nicole
12:09:43 From Christel Nicholson : similar careers?
12:10:07 From Anita Fudalewski : That is very cool!
12:10:15 From Millie : Are we sharing which famous people we’ve seen?
12:10:34 From Kristen : yes millie
12:11:56 From Millie : Thanks, Kristen. I saw all kinds of famous people when I lived in NYC. Hmmm..Diane Keaton, Alec Baldwin, Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson eating in one of my favorite holes in the wall. Just to name a few.
12:12:08 From Christel Nicholson : he was also a general or something in ancient Rome?
12:13:36 From Tina : I have a question today 🙂
12:13:41 From gtrieger : I have a question but having technical difficulties… can I just type it?
12:13:52 From Cathy Adams : u bet gail
12:14:59 From Diane : I have a question – having some real challenges with my 6 year old son. He is hitting my husband and I and throwing things at us. He just lost his grandmother. But dealing with anger has been an issue for a while. 🙁
12:19:01 From Christel Nicholson : I have a senior in high school
12:20:38 From Christel Nicholson : I feel out a nice chat with my daughter and without invading her space I clean it for her. she really feels better when her room is clean but I have to be careful I don’t do it in an invasive way
12:20:48 From gtrieger : My husband commutes to Pheonix for work, usually every other or every third week, during normal times. He works for Amazon there and we have an apartment. Amazon offices are closed obviously. He’s been working every day here but says he’s not getting his heads-down engineering work done because of the dogs, the kids, all of the distractions. We’ve gone over all of the possible solutions here but he says he wants to just go work at the apartment in Phoenix for ten days. He’ll use a mask, gloves, sanitizers, and only go in the one door up to his unit. I am against this. We’ve gone back and forth for a few weeks and now he just booked a flight for Monday. I’m not walking around *mad* but I have anger toward him making unilateral decisions that affect all of us. I mean, not only could he bring germs back to us but he could get sick alone while there. He has a history of making decisions without consulting with me… like with our money, getting our kids their first phones…
12:22:44 From gtrieger : I just need help figuring out how to look at this so it doesn’t make me so angry because he’s not going change. Has some control issues and I think resents me asking him not to do what he wants so he just goes it without working on it with me. That’s it. Thanks. Sorry my audio is messed up.
12:27:22 From gtrieger : How did Cameron change? I need to know!!
12:33:04 From Christel Nicholson : I’m an ER nurse and I have friends who are coders with similar type personalities … I would just quarantine him when he gets home for a week
12:33:28 From Christel Nicholson : when he gets back
12:34:51 From Christel Nicholson : his mental health and needs are as important as physical 🙂 he is setting a boundary for his sanity I bet as well as his work. if u can allow him this with grace then he may come back more able to listen to your needs
12:36:56 From Christel Nicholson : in a bedroom is fine. that’s what the nurses do when we have symptoms after exposure. we stay in a bedroom or basement room by ourselves. leave food at the door. one bathroom that’s his or sanitize after he uses if one bathroom
12:40:43 From Millie : Gail, maybe also reframe the situation if and when he leaves for AZ. After you’ve shared your feelings and now you’re alone with your girls at home, maybe look at that situation as one in which you won’t have the same energy in your home for maybe two weeks. His frustration in being locked inside your house trying to do his work may be bringing a type of energy that you can take a break from for a little while. Just a thought about reframing this “opportunity”.
12:43:28 From Anita Fudalewski : Great mutual support on this call ladies, wow! 😁
12:46:17 From Christel Nicholson : choosing your “job” (in moderation) over the emotional needs of the family I think is a way of choosing your emotions over others emotion. the need to provide stability and the need to Provide is part of our evolution survival
12:47:56 From Christel Nicholson : the book how to talk to little kids so they will listen is amazing for me to learn how to deal with this type behavior as well 🙂
12:51:09 From Judy Aday : Hi Christel! We had a really hard time with my oldest son. Support is great, and it’s great to know that others go through the same. Just be careful the support resonates with you. Over the years some of the advice we got was really making things worse. I felt Debbie Reber’s Tilt parenting was really helpful not to feel alone and I wish I knew about her earlier
12:52:07 From Judy Aday : Sorry, I ment to address it to Diane, not Christel
12:52:54 From Millie : Dan Siegel’s famous quote: “Name it to tame it.” Maybe at six, he still needs to be helped to figure out what he’s feeling…what’s at the core of his anger. Is it hurt? Is it disappointment? Is it sadness? (Like re: his grandmother)
12:53:23 From Emily Chang : I have a quick question about sleep talking, is that a sign of anxieties or stress? I noticed that Emma has been doing that at night, sometimes it sounds like she’s having a bad dream. should I be worried?
12:53:46 From Kristen : Debbie is doing a “Mondays are better together” with susan stiffleman on Monday the 20th.
13:00:26 From Judy Aday to Cathy Adams(Privately) : Hi Cathy and Todd! I’d love to have one of Debbie’s book! I bought it as an Audiobook and I loved it. Since I have it as Audiobook, I don’t want to spend more money to buy the actual book, but I refer to it all the time. I’d love a hard copy to be able to work through all her questions and I would also like to share it with my family and some of my friends. I heard about Debbie through you. Thank you so much! It’s so helpful, as well as a lot of the other topics you talk about. Thanks!!
13:00:30 From gtrieger : Very impressive!
13:00:57 From gtrieger : Dreams by Fleetwood Mac
13:00:58 From Peggy Jividen : Everly Bros!
13:02:07 From Tim Billing : I would actually love Debbie’s book, if you have extra.
13:02:13 From gtrieger : Thanks, Christel!!
13:02:32 From Christel Nicholson to Cathy Adams(Privately) : I’d like a book