Cathy and Todd discuss why self criticism and fear decrease our ability to create meaningful change, and why self compassion is essential for goal setting. They also discuss the “neurotic roommate” inside our head, why balance may not exist, and the big mistake at the end of The Karate Kid.
The following also discuss listener’s questions:
Question #1- I’d love some advice on how the two of you handle situations when you think the other person is doing it WRONG. Whether it’s with each other, your kids, your siblings, etc. As the big sister, I realize I can be an insufferable know it all at times, and as the partner with all the years of therapy and self help under my belt, I often think I have a great idea or suggestion for my partner. My brilliant insights (aka unsolicited advice) are not always received with the enthusiasm I had hoped for. I am working on letting go, and I made myself a bracelet with the words “necessary-useful-kind” to give me some guideposts before I talk. How do the two of you navigate this? The more I learn, the more excited I get, and the more I want to tell everyone how do life better. I’m afraid I’m becoming sort of obnoxious. I listened to your show on not pushing self help on your partner and that created a huge shift in me and I have (to the best of my awareness) stopped doing that. Our relationship has improved dramatically. I am realizing that this is an area where I still need support in the rest of my life. Thank you for any insight you can offer!
Question #2- A dear friend of mine struggles with his 18-year-old daughter, who believes that her father was not as involved in her childhood as he should have been (not supportive enough, not interested in her interests, etc). He feels he was a good parent, so it’s very hurtful to hear this from his daughter, and it is a constant source of strain in their relationship. What do you do when a child believes you were selfish and didn’t put their needs first, and you don’t see things the same way? I worry about this from my own children so I’m interested to hear what advice you might offer!
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Todd has a few spots opening for his Men’s Group. Email me @ firstname.lastname@example.org
Tree of Life Chiropractic Care have some interesting workshops planned. An outline can be found here.
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