Back to school tomorrow and I am appreciating a beautiful afternoon with no schedule.

Part of me grieves losing summer, it was definitely a good one, but part of me doesn’t feel like longing or being sad, it just feels like smiling and rolling with it.

I do feel the natural anxiety of trading a day like day for a tight schedule of school, activities, homework, making lunches…

But the fullness of the next couple months also brings some structure, some excitement.

There is joy in summer and fall, I really love both.

But as I sit here looking at the packed pool across the street from my house, people trying to squeeze the last bit of summer out of their time left, I realize that we always have choices, we can bring a little summer into our fall.

We don’t have to be a slave to the schedule, we can create space. We don’t have to over-idealize summer weather; we can appreciate the feel and beauty of the fall transition. We don’t have to dread what lies before us; we can make a decision to take an optimistic view.

As a kid I always loved fall.  I tend to be a creature of comfort, but for some reason I loved the endless possibilities of a new school year.  I had no idea what was going to happen, and there was something rather great about that.

Openness and not knowing can also breed anxiety, I’ve felt it, my kids are expressing it, so it’s an opportune time to pay attention, to choose calm.

To release and let go of the apprehension, let go of the season, knowing it will come back again, as it always does.

And just ease into this school year with a smile and deep breath, recognizing paradoxical emotions while simultaneously realizing it’s all as it should be.

Longing for more of the same or fearing what’s to come creates a block, an inability to enjoy here and now.

My girls will all be at the same school this year – my oldest in 5^th, my middle in 3^rd, my youngest is starting Kindergarten.

What a cool time for them, what a cool time for me as a mom.

I’m here, I’m rolling with it.