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Podcast Archive
Todd and Cathy discuss theirĀ disagreement over how “active” their kids should be in extracurricular activities. KeepingĀ kids “busy” is connected to our past experiences and our need for constant productivity. It is essential that we see ourselves and our motives clearly when creating expectations for our children. We also talk about some conscious parent foundational elements including self-awareness, mindfulness, and kindness. Ā Conscious parenting is not a “technique”, it’s actually a way of living and ...
Mother do you think they’ll drop the bomb? Ā That’s the first line in this epic song. Ā We disect the lyrics and use it to help understand conscious parenting. Roger Water’s song (on the show we use the Natalie Maines version) points out that parents can have the best intentions when “protecting” their children, but if done unconsciously, or with lack of self awareness, it can backfire. Full Lyrics to Mother: Mother do you think they’ll ...
In honor of Mother’s Day, we invited our moms to talk about what we were like as kids. Ā We also talk about the changes that have taken place from the time they were kids (a.k.a. the olden days) toĀ raising us in the 70’s – we also discuss how their grandchildren are being raised. We get nostalgic and we have a lot of laughs. We love our moms! OurĀ guestĀ Dr. Shefali Tsabary is about to rocket ...
What’s the difference between punishment, discipline, and natural consequences? Ā We discuss a few different events that happened in our house that allowed for natural consequences.Ā Rather than using fear to punish, natural consequences help children understand and integrate a teaching. We also discuss cell phone usage – specifically: What is the correct age to give your access to a phone? What conditions should be put on it? Are we telling our children that we don’t ...
Most of us do. Ā Why do we sometimes feel like fakes at work, at home, in the world? Ā Why are we afraid that someone is going to figure out that we really don’t know what we are doing? We discuss how this feeling plays into our parenting and how we can practice feeling as “real” as possible.Ā We play a clip (below) from Amy Cudder’s Ted Talk on self doubt and how to deal with it ...
Do we want our kids to be popular? Ā How important is this? What makes our kids popular? Is it athletic ability and physical stature or is it physical attractiveness and attention from the opposite sex? We share our perspective and discuss why parents play a role in how their children are perceived.Ā We also use great 80’s movies like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, & Revenge of the Nerds to make ...
Typically pessimists respond to problems by believing these three things: It’s Personal– They blame themselves for an event that has occurred. It’s Permanent– They think it will never get better. It’s Pervasive– TheyĀ assume failure in one area of life means failure in life as a whole and that failure is happening everywhere and can’t be stopped. Do we carry some of these traits? Ā Does it affect our parenting? Ā We discuss this and offer options for ...
In this compelling interview, our friend Katie Weiss shares her breast cancer experience, starting with the fact that she was diagnosed at 35.Ā Due to her age she is told her lump is probably nothing, but she walks us through the series of incidents that lead to the mind-numbing news that she indeed had breast cancer.Ā Recently separated and with a three-year-old daughter at home, Katie takes us from diagnosis, to chemotherapy and finally recovery ...
Is it manly to take paternity leave? When Daniel Murphy’s (a player on the New York Mets) wife had a baby, he utilized the paternity leave that is allowed under the collective bargaining agreement set forth by Major League Baseball. Ā But why is he being criticized? Ā Is it “man code” to get back to work as soon as the birth is over? If we are a nation of family values, why do we place work ...
We discussĀ 8 different ways to help your children be more mindful: 1. Mindful breathing 2. Past/present/future 3. Take in the joy 4. Quiet time 5. Practice listening 6. Emotional awareness ā feeling ā asking questions about feelings 7. Gratitude ā donāt judge what they are grateful for ā role model 8. Do it yourself We also discuss the idea of creeping separateness. Ā This is when we “ignore the cracks” in a marriage. Ā The little things ...
Our friends and neighbors Jeanne and Jeff Plaisted walk the walk. Ā They decided that on their 15th anniversary they were going to do something special. Ā Massages on the beach in Hawaii? Ā Nope. Ā A cruise through the Caribbean? Ā Try again. They decided to make a difference. Ā They stepped away from their day to day life and packed up for a two-week trip to Nicaragua. Ā They were inspired by Spark Ventures, a Chicago-based nonprofit that partners with ...
We all know that most of us are overwhelmed. Ā The question is- what do we do about it?Ā Like most things- it begins with awareness. Ā We get into a discussion based on a book by Brigid Schulte titled –Overwhelmed- Work, Love, & Play When No One Has The Time.Ā We play some clips from an amazing interview she did with NPR’s Terry Gross. Ā Some of the highlights include: The idea of “contaminated time” Is there ...
In this compelling interview, our friend Katie Weiss shares her breast cancer experience, starting with the fact that she was diagnosed at 35. Due to her age she is told her lump is probably nothing, but she walks us through the series of incidents that lead to the mind-numbing news that she indeed had breast cancer. Recently separated and with a three-year-old daughter at home, Katie takes us from diagnosis, to chemotherapy and finally recovery ...
Todd confesses that he still feels intimidated by powerful women in our society, and he uses Oprah and Hillary Clinton as examples. Ā This leads to a discussion about the campaign created by Sheryl Sandberg called “Banning Bossy” Ā The campaign is designed to empower female leadership by making us more conscious of the words we use to describe young girls as they assert themselves. The confidenceĀ gap starts early–Ā Between elementary and high school, girlsāĀ selfāesteem drops 3.5 times ...
Why do we get “triggered” by certain people or circumstances?Ā You could call it a “trigger”, or you could call itĀ Ā a “thorn”.Ā A thorn is when you are disturbed because something you are experiencing feels similar to a negative (or uncomfortable, or unresolved, or painful) experience from the past. Instead of feeling/responding to something in present time, the experience can trigger old pain from the past.Ā That makes the present experience feel like too ...
“Leukemia messed with the wrong girlĀ in NovemberĀ 2011 – my then almost two year old daughter, Maddy. That was when my family’s journey with leukemia began….”~Erin and Dan McCarthy Last month, Maddy became a SURVIVOR, after 2+ years ofĀ treatment. It was brutal – Maddy had 3 surgeries,Ā over 50 rounds of outpatient chemotherapyĀ (as well as hundreds of chemo meds at home), 10 spinal tap chemo injections,Ā 4 blood transfusions, 12Ā ER visits, hair loss, 16 body scans, numerous inpatient ...
There are 5 attributes Google, Inc. currently looks for when hiring an employee and guess what? Ā The school you came from and your G.P.A. don’t mean that much. Ā In a New York Times article titled “How to Get a Job at Google”Ā Thomas Friedman interviewed Laszlo Bock, the Senior Vice President of People Operations for Google and asks what they look for when hiring employees. Ā Google determined that āG.P.A.ās are worthless as a criteria for hiring, ...
How do we react when our children have an emotional response? Yes, there needs to be some boundaries on how our children treat us, but we must also be aware of our own triggers and take responsibility for the energy we bring. We share a recent experience when our daughter had an emotional response (let’s just say it wasn’t handled perfectly). We also use the ocean as a metaphor to distinguish between fear and respect ...
Our friend Jenny Zabrocki shares her personal stories about her modern family.Ā Jenny and her husband Jon had three biological children and then decided to adopt.Ā They adopted a son, Mesfin, from Ethipoia and a daughter, Iris, from China. Ā She helps us understand the challenges and celebrations surrounding the adoption process.Ā Jenny’s very honest and grounded way of sharing her story is an inspiration, and a reminder of how much each of us has to ...
Do you forget names or what you are going to say next? Do you walk into a room and forget why you are there? Don’t fear- we can relate, and we also have some ideas to make your brain less mushy.Ā There is a book called “Keep Your Brain Alive” that discusses Neurobics – these are ways to train your brain to stay alert and sharp. Cathy just returned from a vacation and discusses its ...
Last Friday night was “pizza & ice cream night” in our house. Ā Nowhere to go, nothing to do other than watch the Olympics, eat some unhealthy but yummy food and spend some quality time together. Ā At least that was the picture I had in my head for the evening. The problem was one of my daughters was not on board with MY plan and instead told me how bored she was and how she wanted ...
We sit down with Amy Rodgers Duffin as she explains her tactics for striking that elusive balance of career/mom/wife. Ā Some of the things she explains in this conversation… I am not sure who came up with this term, but to most women, itās something we dream about, but find it difficult to have. As valuable as a winning lottery ticket, achieving work life balance means that we would actually have the time to meet the ...
When was the last time you asked somebody for feedback? Maybe from your partner, your work, or your kids?Ā We discuss the importance of feedback, specifically how to give it, and how to receive it. Ā We also discuss Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s tragic death and how these real life situations can be discussed in the home (for children who are old enough to understand). We end by talking to KellyĀ Pietrangeli from MyProjectMe.comĀ Her website and Facebook ...
We talk about personal responsibility as well asĀ Kathy Caprino’s blog titled “7 Crippling Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders” Ā A link to the blog is listed under “resources” below. Ā The 7 beahaviors are: 1. We donāt let our children experience risk 2. We rescue too quickly 3. We rave too easily 4. We let guilt get in the way of leading well 5. We donāt share our past mistakes 6. We mistake ...
Help is on the way! Ā We interview a truly inspirational person- Jonny Immerman. Ā At 26 years old, Jonny was diagnosed with testicular cancer and began his fight against the disease. Throughout his experience, Jonny was lucky enough to have loving support from his family and friends but had never met anyone his age who was a cancer survivor. He wanted to talk to someone just like him, someone who truly understood, and was intimately familiar ...
We discuss the importance of the inner world, specifically how this relates to preadolescent/teenage boys. They generally don’t ask for help, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need support.Ā We offer tips and guidance in how to understand and relate to “boy world”.Ā We also discuss the “innerscape” and “outerscape” of a person and why “remembering and forgetting” are part of the consciousness process. REMINDERS: Virtual Relationship Retreat-Ā For individuals, couples, friends, or the workplace. Ā Practice ...
In the first half of the show we discuss ideas a blog written by Dr. Mark Goulston on how to increase the happiness of your “couplehood” Ā The 10 habits discussed: 1. Go to bed at the same time 2. Cultivate common interests 3. Walk hand in hand or side by side 4. Make trust and forgiveness your default 5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong 6 ...
We interview Dr. Shefali Tsabary the author of the The Conscious Parent (with a forward written by the Dalai Lama) and her new book Out of ControlĀ which questions why and how we discipline children. Some of the issues we discuss with Dr. Shefali: – What are the first steps we can take to become a more conscious parent? – What prevents us from being the parent that we want to be? – Why most ...
It’s Cathy’s turn to share what she learned after 11 years of marriage. Ā Her mistakes: 1. Being a martyr 2. Pretending to like things I didn’t like 3. Not trying things I haven’t tried (paradox) 4. Worrying about the small stuff (and not seeing the big stuff)5.Not trusting Todd’s ability to parent 5. Wanting Todd to read my mind 6. Shutting down instead of saying what I felt 7. Not saying thank you and sorry ...
When I do the annual job of washing the windows in my house, I always say without exception, “I never realized they were that dirty.” Ā I can now see how green the trees are, how blue the sky is. We see the world through our own filter. Ā Our soul needs to to be cleaned as well by doing things such as reading books, working with a therapist, meditating, taking a mindful walk, etc. Ā These are ...
We interview Josh Becker, a teacher for Breakthrough for Men and host of the I Simply AmĀ podcast.Ā Ā Breakthrough for Men is dedicated to making real change in the quality of menās lives. Ā We discuss why it’s much more difficult to gather a group of men (vs. women) for the purpose of self exploration.Ā Josh helps redefine the definition of manhood – society encourages men to be strong and not vulnerable, intelligent and not thoughtful, powerful ...
We interview blogger/editor Ben Martin of The Good Men Project. Ā We discuss his blog which asks the question Why is it socially acceptable to speak down to children when we would rarely (if ever) speak to another adult in the same way? Ā Cathy also shares her thoughts on the lessons from the movie Frozen (the trailer can be found @ the bottom of this blog). This movie is all about self acceptance, shining as brightly ...
Among the topics of todays podcast: We discuss a blog title “Is Disney TV poisoning our kids”? Ā Some people thinks so. Ā Some shows are OK, whereas others are just not good for your kids to be watching. Where’s the balance between prohibiting certain shows for your kids and letting them figure out for themselves what is good/bad and then having a discussion about the shows. Ā We contrast the “perfection” of the female actresses of Disney ...
We talk with Annie Burnside, author, blogger, and teacher who focuses on spiritual development for individuals and families. In this podcast we discuss the problem with parenting books, why personal growth is the key to parenting, and how to infuse spiritual language and lessons into digestible bites. Annie also talks about raising teenagers and the true definition of success. Towards the end of the show, we talk about the YouTube clip included below. Ā Annie is ...
The theme for this week is forgiveness (big and small) and heroes.Ā Cathy and Todd talk about aĀ mugger who apologized to his victim on facebook…35 years later. In the spirit of the holiday season they discuss other forms of forgiveness – to ourselves and others. They illustrate this with the story of the two monks. and they also talk a lot about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. As we age, our heroes evolve – Todd’s ...
We discuss 4 ways to reduce your holiday stress: Dealing with family, How to cope with a case of the āshouldsā, Setting an intention for the holidays, Register for the 8 days of Holiday Calm Virtual Retreat. Todd features the first of four weekly shout outs to a a holiday movie. Ā This week we feature National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. The Tournament of Bad is in full force as we debate delaying the gratification by listening ...
We talk with Nancy Mullen, social worker, author, pastry chef, and advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth. Nancy worked for several years in the HIV/AIDS field and shifted to her work with LGBT youth in 1998 as the executive director of a small, grassroots agency. She is a sought after public speaker on topics such as LGBT Youth and Adolescent Development and Current Trends in Working with LGBT Youth. She is a ...
What is Thanksgiving about? Being with family or finding the best deal? Many retailers moved Black Friday deals up a day and now people are expected to work on Thanksgiving or they feel the need to shop instead of relax. Ā We subscribe to not feeding into the frenzy ā will you join us? We also discuss a book titled Triumphs of ExperienceĀ by George Vaillant. Ā The book isĀ the longest longitudinal study of human development. Ā Among the ...
We were inspired by a 60 Minutes segment about a group of billionaires who took āThe Giving Pledgeā. Ā Itās headed up by Bill/Melinda Gates and Warren Buffet, and the only requirement is to give away at least half of your fortune. Ā Sometimes itās easy to look at the super rich and say, āWell if I was that rich, I would do the same thing.ā Ā The bottom line is that most people in the U.S. are ...
Conversations With People We Love- We interview a self admitted former bully. Ā Mark Schultz is a friend and somebody who told Cathy and I that we had to watch the documentary Bullyand then interview him on his experiences as a former bully with the hopes that we can all learn a little bit from his experience. Ā He shares with us how he became a bully and the unlikely person who showed up to change his ...
We are talking about bullyingā¦. again, but this time itās about the adults (Rich Incognito/Jonathan Martin story). Ā We discuss āman codeā and the culture of the NFL, but recognize that many cultures have a ācodeā that is expected to be kept. Itās easy to direct anger at the an individual, but we are reminded that most bullies were a victims at some point in their lives. We also discuss end of life decisions as a ...
Are you sure about that? Ā Parents of boys say this to us a lot, but this can be a matter of experience or expectation. Sure, it may feel true in many situations, but not hearing a peep from your boys about anything doesnāt mean that nothing is going on ā they may just be less comfortable expressing their emotions and asking for help. Maybe a girl does become more frustrated or unsure about emotional experiences ...
Do you ever feel like you donāt have time to live your passion? Ā You are not alone. Thatās why we invited Chicago musician Gerry OāKeefe to talk with us about living his passion while taking care of work and family business. We discuss how to keep your passion despite the responsibilities we have as a parent, employee, spouse, etc., his new album titled āWhatever Suits Youā, Van Halen, David Cassidy, not allowing the negative to ...
Failure is important right? We learn a lot from failure, right? Then why do we try to protect our children from ever failing? We have a discussion between the relationship between failure, confidence, narcissism, self worth, etc. The people who have made the largest impact on our world had significant failures, too. We also discuss families who send their kids to an āathletic boarding schoolā Is this an effort to give their child the best ...
In the Jewish tradition there are two different words that describe fear.Ā The first is called Pachad– āprojected or imagined fear,ā or the āfear whose objects are imagined.āĀ The second is called Yirah– the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to.Ā We discuss the video belowĀ from Tara Sophia MohrĀ describing the differences. We then discuss healthy ways to overcome fear: Analyze your fear ...
Well, youāve come to the right place. In our very first bi-monthly āConversations with People we Loveā, we talk with Heather Criswell, author of āHow to Raise a Happy Childā . Crawl inside the mind of Heather, a noted ākid whispererā, and see how she discovered (through 25 years and 30,000 children) what works with every child, in every situation, every time. Heather also shares some of her own struggles and she discusses how language ...
Science now tells us that if we react to our children’s “failures” with compassion instead of criticism, our kids will have a greater likelihood of succeeding. We discuss these ideas and the bookĀ Self Compassion by Kristin Neff. We also discuss the different ways men and women measure acts of love. Ā The good news for the guys is that we use a Ā point system, the bad news is we haven’t been keeping score the right way ...
A listener emailed and said her husband becomes agitated when she discusses personal growth or suggests listening to our podcast. We discuss the importance of honoring where your partner is in this moment (maybe he doesn’t want to listen to the podcast), and still speaking up about your own needs (but he can appreciate that you enjoy it). Change can be scary, but it’s a necessary and normal part of everyday life. Self awareness is ...
Do you have a spouse who travels? Are both the exit and reentry a challenge? Do you feel appreciated for what you do while your spouse is away, and does your spouse feel appreciated for the hard work involved in work travel? Ā We discuss the importance of validation and communication when your partner travels, and why it’s important to say what you need. We also discuss the importance of prioritization and how we need to ...
We discuss the 5 different love languages based on a book by Gary Chapman. Ā The discussion will help you decide your dominant love language and help you figure out the love language of your children (and spouse!). Ā This can be the first step toward a deeper and more understanding relationship with your family. Todd also discusses a feel good story about a homeless man named Glen James and what he did to change his own ...
