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Podcast Archive
Do we want our kids to be popular? How important is this? What makes our kids popular? Is it athletic ability and physical stature or is it physical attractiveness and attention from the opposite sex? We share our perspective and discuss why parents play a role in how their children are perceived. We also use great 80’s movies like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, & Revenge of the Nerds to make ...
Typically pessimists respond to problems by believing these three things: It’s Personal– They blame themselves for an event that has occurred. It’s Permanent– They think it will never get better. It’s Pervasive– They assume failure in one area of life means failure in life as a whole and that failure is happening everywhere and can’t be stopped. Do we carry some of these traits? Does it affect our parenting? We discuss this and offer options for ...
In this compelling interview, our friend Katie Weiss shares her breast cancer experience, starting with the fact that she was diagnosed at 35. Due to her age she is told her lump is probably nothing, but she walks us through the series of incidents that lead to the mind-numbing news that she indeed had breast cancer. Recently separated and with a three-year-old daughter at home, Katie takes us from diagnosis, to chemotherapy and finally recovery ...
Is it manly to take paternity leave? When Daniel Murphy’s (a player on the New York Mets) wife had a baby, he utilized the paternity leave that is allowed under the collective bargaining agreement set forth by Major League Baseball. But why is he being criticized? Is it “man code” to get back to work as soon as the birth is over? If we are a nation of family values, why do we place work ...
We discuss 8 different ways to help your children be more mindful: 1. Mindful breathing 2. Past/present/future 3. Take in the joy 4. Quiet time 5. Practice listening 6. Emotional awareness – feeling – asking questions about feelings 7. Gratitude – don’t judge what they are grateful for – role model 8. Do it yourself We also discuss the idea of creeping separateness. This is when we “ignore the cracks” in a marriage. The little things ...
Our friends and neighbors Jeanne and Jeff Plaisted walk the walk. They decided that on their 15th anniversary they were going to do something special. Massages on the beach in Hawaii? Nope. A cruise through the Caribbean? Try again. They decided to make a difference. They stepped away from their day to day life and packed up for a two-week trip to Nicaragua. They were inspired by Spark Ventures, a Chicago-based nonprofit that partners with ...
We all know that most of us are overwhelmed. The question is- what do we do about it? Like most things- it begins with awareness. We get into a discussion based on a book by Brigid Schulte titled –Overwhelmed- Work, Love, & Play When No One Has The Time. We play some clips from an amazing interview she did with NPR’s Terry Gross. Some of the highlights include: The idea of “contaminated time” Is there ...
In this compelling interview, our friend Katie Weiss shares her breast cancer experience, starting with the fact that she was diagnosed at 35. Due to her age she is told her lump is probably nothing, but she walks us through the series of incidents that lead to the mind-numbing news that she indeed had breast cancer. Recently separated and with a three-year-old daughter at home, Katie takes us from diagnosis, to chemotherapy and finally recovery ...
Todd confesses that he still feels intimidated by powerful women in our society, and he uses Oprah and Hillary Clinton as examples. This leads to a discussion about the campaign created by Sheryl Sandberg called “Banning Bossy” The campaign is designed to empower female leadership by making us more conscious of the words we use to describe young girls as they assert themselves. The confidence gap starts early– Between elementary and high school, girls’ self–esteem drops 3.5 times ...
Why do we get “triggered” by certain people or circumstances? You could call it a “trigger”, or you could call it a “thorn”. A thorn is when you are disturbed because something you are experiencing feels similar to a negative (or uncomfortable, or unresolved, or painful) experience from the past. Instead of feeling/responding to something in present time, the experience can trigger old pain from the past. That makes the present experience feel like too ...
“Leukemia messed with the wrong girl in November 2011 – my then almost two year old daughter, Maddy. That was when my family’s journey with leukemia began….”~Erin and Dan McCarthy Last month, Maddy became a SURVIVOR, after 2+ years of treatment. It was brutal – Maddy had 3 surgeries, over 50 rounds of outpatient chemotherapy (as well as hundreds of chemo meds at home), 10 spinal tap chemo injections, 4 blood transfusions, 12 ER visits, hair loss, 16 body scans, numerous inpatient ...
There are 5 attributes Google, Inc. currently looks for when hiring an employee and guess what? The school you came from and your G.P.A. don’t mean that much. In a New York Times article titled “How to Get a Job at Google” Thomas Friedman interviewed Laszlo Bock, the Senior Vice President of People Operations for Google and asks what they look for when hiring employees. Google determined that “G.P.A.’s are worthless as a criteria for hiring, ...
How do we react when our children have an emotional response? Yes, there needs to be some boundaries on how our children treat us, but we must also be aware of our own triggers and take responsibility for the energy we bring. We share a recent experience when our daughter had an emotional response (let’s just say it wasn’t handled perfectly). We also use the ocean as a metaphor to distinguish between fear and respect ...
Our friend Jenny Zabrocki shares her personal stories about her modern family. Jenny and her husband Jon had three biological children and then decided to adopt. They adopted a son, Mesfin, from Ethipoia and a daughter, Iris, from China. She helps us understand the challenges and celebrations surrounding the adoption process. Jenny’s very honest and grounded way of sharing her story is an inspiration, and a reminder of how much each of us has to ...
Do you forget names or what you are going to say next? Do you walk into a room and forget why you are there? Don’t fear- we can relate, and we also have some ideas to make your brain less mushy. There is a book called “Keep Your Brain Alive” that discusses Neurobics – these are ways to train your brain to stay alert and sharp. Cathy just returned from a vacation and discusses its ...
Last Friday night was “pizza & ice cream night” in our house. Nowhere to go, nothing to do other than watch the Olympics, eat some unhealthy but yummy food and spend some quality time together. At least that was the picture I had in my head for the evening. The problem was one of my daughters was not on board with MY plan and instead told me how bored she was and how she wanted ...
We sit down with Amy Rodgers Duffin as she explains her tactics for striking that elusive balance of career/mom/wife. Some of the things she explains in this conversation… I am not sure who came up with this term, but to most women, it’s something we dream about, but find it difficult to have. As valuable as a winning lottery ticket, achieving work life balance means that we would actually have the time to meet the ...
When was the last time you asked somebody for feedback? Maybe from your partner, your work, or your kids? We discuss the importance of feedback, specifically how to give it, and how to receive it. We also discuss Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s tragic death and how these real life situations can be discussed in the home (for children who are old enough to understand). We end by talking to Kelly Pietrangeli from MyProjectMe.com Her website and Facebook ...
We talk about personal responsibility as well as Kathy Caprino’s blog titled “7 Crippling Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders” A link to the blog is listed under “resources” below. The 7 beahaviors are: 1. We don’t let our children experience risk 2. We rescue too quickly 3. We rave too easily 4. We let guilt get in the way of leading well 5. We don’t share our past mistakes 6. We mistake ...
Help is on the way! We interview a truly inspirational person- Jonny Immerman. At 26 years old, Jonny was diagnosed with testicular cancer and began his fight against the disease. Throughout his experience, Jonny was lucky enough to have loving support from his family and friends but had never met anyone his age who was a cancer survivor. He wanted to talk to someone just like him, someone who truly understood, and was intimately familiar ...
We discuss the importance of the inner world, specifically how this relates to preadolescent/teenage boys. They generally don’t ask for help, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need support. We offer tips and guidance in how to understand and relate to “boy world”. We also discuss the “innerscape” and “outerscape” of a person and why “remembering and forgetting” are part of the consciousness process. REMINDERS: Virtual Relationship Retreat- For individuals, couples, friends, or the workplace. Practice ...
In the first half of the show we discuss ideas a blog written by Dr. Mark Goulston on how to increase the happiness of your “couplehood” The 10 habits discussed: 1. Go to bed at the same time 2. Cultivate common interests 3. Walk hand in hand or side by side 4. Make trust and forgiveness your default 5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong 6 ...
We interview Dr. Shefali Tsabary the author of the The Conscious Parent (with a forward written by the Dalai Lama) and her new book Out of Control which questions why and how we discipline children. Some of the issues we discuss with Dr. Shefali: – What are the first steps we can take to become a more conscious parent? – What prevents us from being the parent that we want to be? – Why most ...
It’s Cathy’s turn to share what she learned after 11 years of marriage. Her mistakes: 1. Being a martyr 2. Pretending to like things I didn’t like 3. Not trying things I haven’t tried (paradox) 4. Worrying about the small stuff (and not seeing the big stuff)5.Not trusting Todd’s ability to parent 5. Wanting Todd to read my mind 6. Shutting down instead of saying what I felt 7. Not saying thank you and sorry ...
When I do the annual job of washing the windows in my house, I always say without exception, “I never realized they were that dirty.” I can now see how green the trees are, how blue the sky is. We see the world through our own filter. Our soul needs to to be cleaned as well by doing things such as reading books, working with a therapist, meditating, taking a mindful walk, etc. These are ...
We interview Josh Becker, a teacher for Breakthrough for Men and host of the I Simply Am podcast. Breakthrough for Men is dedicated to making real change in the quality of men’s lives. We discuss why it’s much more difficult to gather a group of men (vs. women) for the purpose of self exploration. Josh helps redefine the definition of manhood – society encourages men to be strong and not vulnerable, intelligent and not thoughtful, powerful ...
We interview blogger/editor Ben Martin of The Good Men Project. We discuss his blog which asks the question Why is it socially acceptable to speak down to children when we would rarely (if ever) speak to another adult in the same way? Cathy also shares her thoughts on the lessons from the movie Frozen (the trailer can be found @ the bottom of this blog). This movie is all about self acceptance, shining as brightly ...
Among the topics of todays podcast: We discuss a blog title “Is Disney TV poisoning our kids”? Some people thinks so. Some shows are OK, whereas others are just not good for your kids to be watching. Where’s the balance between prohibiting certain shows for your kids and letting them figure out for themselves what is good/bad and then having a discussion about the shows. We contrast the “perfection” of the female actresses of Disney ...
We talk with Annie Burnside, author, blogger, and teacher who focuses on spiritual development for individuals and families. In this podcast we discuss the problem with parenting books, why personal growth is the key to parenting, and how to infuse spiritual language and lessons into digestible bites. Annie also talks about raising teenagers and the true definition of success. Towards the end of the show, we talk about the YouTube clip included below. Annie is ...
The theme for this week is forgiveness (big and small) and heroes. Cathy and Todd talk about a mugger who apologized to his victim on facebook…35 years later. In the spirit of the holiday season they discuss other forms of forgiveness – to ourselves and others. They illustrate this with the story of the two monks. and they also talk a lot about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. As we age, our heroes evolve – Todd’s ...
We discuss 4 ways to reduce your holiday stress: Dealing with family, How to cope with a case of the “shoulds”, Setting an intention for the holidays, Register for the 8 days of Holiday Calm Virtual Retreat. Todd features the first of four weekly shout outs to a a holiday movie. This week we feature National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. The Tournament of Bad is in full force as we debate delaying the gratification by listening ...
We talk with Nancy Mullen, social worker, author, pastry chef, and advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth. Nancy worked for several years in the HIV/AIDS field and shifted to her work with LGBT youth in 1998 as the executive director of a small, grassroots agency. She is a sought after public speaker on topics such as LGBT Youth and Adolescent Development and Current Trends in Working with LGBT Youth. She is a ...
What is Thanksgiving about? Being with family or finding the best deal? Many retailers moved Black Friday deals up a day and now people are expected to work on Thanksgiving or they feel the need to shop instead of relax. We subscribe to not feeding into the frenzy – will you join us? We also discuss a book titled Triumphs of Experience by George Vaillant. The book is the longest longitudinal study of human development. Among the ...
We were inspired by a 60 Minutes segment about a group of billionaires who took “The Giving Pledge”. It’s headed up by Bill/Melinda Gates and Warren Buffet, and the only requirement is to give away at least half of your fortune. Sometimes it’s easy to look at the super rich and say, “Well if I was that rich, I would do the same thing.” The bottom line is that most people in the U.S. are ...
Conversations With People We Love- We interview a self admitted former bully. Mark Schultz is a friend and somebody who told Cathy and I that we had to watch the documentary Bullyand then interview him on his experiences as a former bully with the hopes that we can all learn a little bit from his experience. He shares with us how he became a bully and the unlikely person who showed up to change his ...
We are talking about bullying…. again, but this time it’s about the adults (Rich Incognito/Jonathan Martin story). We discuss “man code” and the culture of the NFL, but recognize that many cultures have a “code” that is expected to be kept. It’s easy to direct anger at the an individual, but we are reminded that most bullies were a victims at some point in their lives. We also discuss end of life decisions as a ...
Are you sure about that? Parents of boys say this to us a lot, but this can be a matter of experience or expectation. Sure, it may feel true in many situations, but not hearing a peep from your boys about anything doesn’t mean that nothing is going on – they may just be less comfortable expressing their emotions and asking for help. Maybe a girl does become more frustrated or unsure about emotional experiences ...
Do you ever feel like you don’t have time to live your passion? You are not alone. That’s why we invited Chicago musician Gerry O’Keefe to talk with us about living his passion while taking care of work and family business. We discuss how to keep your passion despite the responsibilities we have as a parent, employee, spouse, etc., his new album titled “Whatever Suits You”, Van Halen, David Cassidy, not allowing the negative to ...
Failure is important right? We learn a lot from failure, right? Then why do we try to protect our children from ever failing? We have a discussion between the relationship between failure, confidence, narcissism, self worth, etc. The people who have made the largest impact on our world had significant failures, too. We also discuss families who send their kids to an “athletic boarding school” Is this an effort to give their child the best ...
In the Jewish tradition there are two different words that describe fear. The first is called Pachad– “projected or imagined fear,” or the “fear whose objects are imagined.” The second is called Yirah– the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to. We discuss the video below from Tara Sophia Mohr describing the differences. We then discuss healthy ways to overcome fear: Analyze your fear ...
Well, you’ve come to the right place. In our very first bi-monthly “Conversations with People we Love”, we talk with Heather Criswell, author of “How to Raise a Happy Child” . Crawl inside the mind of Heather, a noted “kid whisperer”, and see how she discovered (through 25 years and 30,000 children) what works with every child, in every situation, every time. Heather also shares some of her own struggles and she discusses how language ...
Science now tells us that if we react to our children’s “failures” with compassion instead of criticism, our kids will have a greater likelihood of succeeding. We discuss these ideas and the book Self Compassion by Kristin Neff. We also discuss the different ways men and women measure acts of love. The good news for the guys is that we use a point system, the bad news is we haven’t been keeping score the right way ...
A listener emailed and said her husband becomes agitated when she discusses personal growth or suggests listening to our podcast. We discuss the importance of honoring where your partner is in this moment (maybe he doesn’t want to listen to the podcast), and still speaking up about your own needs (but he can appreciate that you enjoy it). Change can be scary, but it’s a necessary and normal part of everyday life. Self awareness is ...
Do you have a spouse who travels? Are both the exit and reentry a challenge? Do you feel appreciated for what you do while your spouse is away, and does your spouse feel appreciated for the hard work involved in work travel? We discuss the importance of validation and communication when your partner travels, and why it’s important to say what you need. We also discuss the importance of prioritization and how we need to ...
We discuss the 5 different love languages based on a book by Gary Chapman. The discussion will help you decide your dominant love language and help you figure out the love language of your children (and spouse!). This can be the first step toward a deeper and more understanding relationship with your family. Todd also discusses a feel good story about a homeless man named Glen James and what he did to change his own ...
We discuss “Rachel’s Challenge”, a presentation for schools that focuses on kindness and self-awareness. This program that has reached over 19,000,000 people. Each day 160,000 students do not go to school because they are bullied, teased and harassed. By turning the story of a tragic death at Columbine High School into a mission for change, Rachel’s Challenge is helping create safer learning environments and making a world-wide impact. Rachel’s Challenge is a series of student ...
We discuss a blog titled The Conversation You Must Have With Your Sons by Carina Kolodny. One out of five college girls are sexually assaulted. As parents we do everything we can to help our daughters make smart decisions and stay out of difficult situations. Are we having conversations with our sons about making responsible decisions? Or does this kind of conversation feel unnecessary or uncomfortable? Cathy fires back at the people who say the ...
What does it mean to “succeed”? To us it means self awareness, connection to the whole, and sharing your gifts and talents. On this show we share a few ways to help your child find greater success. 1) (6:10) Send them to overnight camp. Benefits- Give your child a sense of independence that is hard to duplicate in their normal day to day lives. It’s a safe setting They can “shed” their old selves and ...
We discuss an article in Psychology Today titled What Happy People Do Differently The Real Rewards of Risk- When anxiety is an optional state A Blind Eye to Life’s Vicissitudes- The benefit of seeing the forest but not the trees The Unjealous Friend- We’re buoyed by others’ good fortune A Time For Everything- The upside of negative emotions The Well-Being Balancing Act- Pleasure and purpose work together Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University ...
8 things to help deal with back to school anxiety Why Ashton Kutcher’s stock skyrocketed for Todd One man’s message to his daughter- “I hope you have great sex” 4:27 Anxiety is normal. Sometimes parents tell their kids not to feel anxious. Listen Ask questions Be engaged Own your role in the situation Know you’re not alone It gets easier Advocate for your child in dealing with “inschool” sadness Ask for support for teacher 12:16 ...