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Zen Parenting + Pop Culturing
Podcast Archive
Cathy and Todd talk to Tara Mohr, an expert on women’s leadership and well-being. She is the author of Playing Big: Find Your Voice, Your Mission, Your Message, and she’s the creator of the Playing Big leadership program for women. Cathy first heard Tara Mohr at an Emerging Women conference, and she fell in love with her message and book. Listen as Tara talks about why women get blamed for not playing big, the two ...
Today we discuss our workshop with Dr. Daniel Siegel, Psychiatrist and Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute, where we learned more about mindfulness and how it can change every aspect of our lives AND our children’s lives. We also talk about our contribution to Kids in the House, a video parenting resource where experts address all of your parenting issues. A listener shares how her partner had her back, and we give you a sneak ...
Todd and Cathy discuss a blog that offers 5 ways to raise kind children. They also talk about “dementia of the pre-occupied”, not a true diagnosis, but a great description of what it feels like when you begin forgetting why you walked into a room or what you planned to say next. They talk about why the teenage brain is different than ours, how to develop trust when communicating with your kids, and why the ...
Do you ever hear (or say) things like this: Life is hard. Being good at school means you will be good at work. Don’t expect too much, then you won’t be disappointed. You can’t do it that way. Do you ever question whether or not these things are really true? This week Todd and Cathy bust open these so-called “facts” to recognize how these negative belief systems slow us down or keep us stuck. They ...
We speak with Darius A. Loghmanee, MD Attending Physician, Sleep Medicine; Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. We cover all the bases from infants to adults. Is a sleep routine good, and if so what’s the best way of going about it. Dr. Darius shares with us why it’s not okay to tell your child to “go to sleep” and what you should say instead. You can learn more about Dr. Darius by ...
Todd and Cathy discuss why our actions dictate our priorities (a Gandhi quote), and how investigation into our priorities tells us a lot about what we think and believe. They also discuss Rob Bell’s new podcast (The Robcast) and his teaching about why “good can be the detriment of best”. They discuss the most recent country music mash up, and Todd shares his favorite scene from The is 40 when the dad (played by Paul ...
On today’s show Cathy and Todd talk about why connection is essential if we want our children to listen and cooperate. If we are seeking changes in our children’s behavior, we need to we focus our attention on deepening the relationship and creating daily connection. We have to be willing to make consistent deposits in the emotional bank accounts of our loved ones – then we take withdrawls (disappointments, challenges, disagreements) without too much drama ...
A listener shares how her husband has her back – he tells the kids that he loves them, but he loves their mom the most. We also discuss how negative behavior from your children is a method of communication – instead of yelling or punishing, consider asking questions and offering some attention. This will offer your child what he needs, and you may feel less frustrated. Do you have a short story of how your ...
They sound the same, but there is a distinct difference between detachment (giving up) and non attachment (opening up). If you learn the difference, forgiveness will become easier and you will inevitably experience more love in your life. Do your kids play “Dumb Ways to Die”? It sounds harsh, but it was actually created to prevent train/pedestrian accidents. Todd talks about the science behind spanking, and he shares more financial wisdom – this time about ...
Cathy and Todd talk relationships and discuss and article (link below) from The Atlantic called “Masters of Love” In the article, it talks about the most current research about “master” and “disaster” partnerships. The biggest take away? If your partner sees a bird and points to it, look at the bird and acknowledge you’ve seen it. This is a metaphor for aspects of your relationship! Also, do you scan your relationship for kindness or for ...
Today we talk different parenting styles from a blog by Denise Stirk, Malala’s Nobel Peace Prize speech, and Todd shares more money tips. We also talk about why the best choices are made responsibly (rather than just running away or pretending something isn’t happening), and we answer a question about whether sleep training is practical option for a 3 year old. The link to hear a snapshot of Malala’s speech can be found below… http://www.upworthy.com/shes-known-as-malala-but-when-she-revealed-her-other-names-i-got-teary?c=upw1 ...
Why are girls going through puberty early? Cathy and Todd discuss a recent NPR interview with the authors Julianna Deardorff and Louise Greenspan of The New Puberty. The book looks at the percentage of girls who are going through early puberty and the environmental, biological and socioeconomic factors that influence when puberty begins. They also discuss why sexuality is an ongoing communication, not a one-time conversation. Todd talks about Tony Robbins new book (Money: Master ...
Do you let others grow and expand or do you keep pulling them back down into the pot? When you try to crawl out and try something new, do family/friends/co-workers pull you down or deter you? When you change or grow it can be quite uncomfortable for the people around you. Just like crabs in a pot, we pull back the ones who are crawling out because change can feel risky and unpredictable. We also ...
Todd & Cathy share a marriage challenge where Cathy was able to speak up (not easy), and Todd was able to really listen (also not easy). In couplehood- Can we allow our partner to share their pain without taking it personally? Are we brave enough to ask for what we really want? Instead of preaching to others, can we begin to offer what we want to receive, love instead of fear, and BE the change we ...
We talk with Mary Ellen Young & Sandra McDonnell about their book, Elements for Girls: A Fun and Engaging Self-Discovery Project. This book supports preadolescent and teenage girls on their journey of self awareness, and offers them a sense of acceptance and empowerment as they grow. We shared their book with our Be U girls, and have gotten tremendous feedback. Listen as we discuss the challenges faced by young girls and how to support them, ...
Todd & Cathy discuss the “two wolves” parable and how we can use this when we are teaching our kids. An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life… “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. “One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ...
On today’s show we discuss why it’s important to support children’s dreams, and why it’s important to do what you love. We talk about Dave Grohl, Jim Morrison, Billy Corgan, and other famous people who realized their dream regardless of what they were told. Parents can redefine what it means for their children to be successful, and they can focus their energy on acceptance and belonging. This results in children who are intrinsically motivated and ...
We interview Matt Theodores who is the director of Maine Boys To Men. Boys To Men supports the happy, healthy, non-violent development of boys and those who help raise them. By working with parents, teachers, coaches, boys and girls, Boys to Men challenges the pervasive messaging that defines masculinity in terms of violence, harassment, apathy and sexual conquest. Their programs support empathy, tolerance, respect, leadership, and critical thinking. In the interview, we discuss the focus of their ...
We’ve made it to 200! We celebrate by hearing from our listeners and by listening to some of our “greatest hits”. We also talk about the intention of Zen Parenting and why self awareness leads to more connected families and eventually, a more connected world. Thanks for listening, we appreciate you! We announce the release of Cathy’s new book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting as well as ...
Do you get annoyed by your fear? Are you tired of being afraid? We discuss how to shift the way we look at fear. Pema Chodron said, Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth, so maybe our fear is trying to help us, heal us, push us closer to who really are. We never stop being afraid, but we can begin to have a gentler relationship with the discomfort. We discuss ...
Our guest Alfie Kohn, author of The Myth of the Spoiled Child, says that the negativity thrown at parents and the supposedly narcissistic kids they are raising is unfounded. Kohn says parents should work to raise kids with high self esteem, and that the fashionable belief that kids must develop grit and self-discipline through failure and suffering is unproven and often counterproductive. A few of the topics we discuss with Alfie: Warm responsive parenting is ...
We are always told to avoid “toxic” people, but sometimes it’s difficult to completely cut ties. This is when we learn to set boundaries. Cathy shares a metaphor she found in Glennon Melton’s latest blog – the reason we can see the beauty of a tiger behind bars is that we are safe from being devoured. If we don’t set up our own boundaries (bars), then we risk allowing others to take advantage of us ...
Are you supporting your partner instead of listening to your own internal knowing? Are you choosing to support rather than voice your opinion? Supporting your partner and kids is important, but if you do it by hurting yourself, it can create resentment and disconnection. Cathy and Todd go deep on this one (think Zen Parenting grad school) and ask listeners to practice extreme self awareness. If you take care of yourself first, and do what ...
Our friend Shawn Bowen tells her story about her son Matthew who was diagnosed with down syndrome in the hospital 4 days after he was born. Matthew is now 7 and is amazing as he was when he showed up seven years ago. Shawn talks about her initial reaction to Matthew’s diagnoses, advocating for her son in a school system, Matthew’s health challenges, and how the perception of down syndrome has changed for the better ...
Do your kids love to dance, or play sports, or be artistic at home? Do you keep insisting that they need to take a class? We all want what is “best” for our kids, and that often means getting them into the “best” class with the “best” teacher at the “best” facility The intention is based in love, but what if your kid doesn’t want to take a class? Maybe he/she just wants to enjoy ...
Time-outs are typically viewed as an effective parenting technique, but the latest brain research suggests that they may be making things worse. Instead of using time-outs as a break, parents have used them as punishment. This isolates the child and eliminates the possibility for connection and compassion at a time when they need it most. We discuss the blog written by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, where they share how the latest ...
Have you heard of He for She? This campaign, headed by the UN, is asking men to stand up and support gender equality – not just for the sake of women, but also for their own freedoms and for the welfare of our nation. Emma Watson is the Ambassador for He for She, and she gave an amazing speech yesterday in front of the UN. She was given a well-deserved standing ovation. Click here to ...
In this “special edition” episode of ZPR, we discuss spanking and hitting, especially how it relates to the Adrian Peterson case. Three-fourths of our country still believes in spanking as an appropriate method of discipline, so instead of pointing fingers and demonizing, let’s discuss, understand, and pay attention to why and how this became acceptable. Emotions, outbursts, and negative behavior are all messages; our children’s way of communicating needs and challenges. Is causing them physical ...
as they try to change their worlds….are immune to your consultations, they’re quite aware of what they’re going through – David Bowie’s famous line from the song “Changes” sums up our misunderstanding of children today. Todd is sick of hearing people say kids are more spoiled than ever or kids are narcissistic, it was never like that when I was young….“The Myth of The Spoiled Child“, a book by Alfie Kohn, proves that these assertions are ...
Our daughter was struggling to get out of bed this morning – struggling to get dressed, struggling to eat breakfast. The trick to dealing with a scenario like this is to check yourself before responding (even if you have to fake that you are not frustrated). If we meet this situation with a sense of calm and trust natural consequences, we may be able to sidestep some possible landmines. We discuss how to support your ...
Instead of posting a new podcast, we are reposting one of our favorites, the one where we interview our moms. Unfortunately, Todd’s mom passed away last weekend, and we wanted to share this to honor her. We share some great stories, have some great laughs, and near the end, Sharon (we call her GG) shares how at peace she is with her family. Please listen and enjoy – and even more important, be good to each ...
We lost our “Zen Bunny” Greeley last week and it was a shock to our family. How do we deal with the grieving process, and how do we help our children deal with their sadness? As parents we need to allow our children to grieve, and respect that it’s an individual process. We also discuss how to handle “disrespect” from our children – are they trying to be mean, or are they trying to communicate ...
We discuss the newly revised version of “Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill” a book written by Lt. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGateano, Founder and CEO of the Parent Coaching Institute. Originally published in 1999, the book is updated and includes even more indisputable research that demonstrates the affects of violence on the child and adolescent brain. We also talk about the “Ignore No More” app created by a mom who wanted her son to respond ...
Robin Williams’ death prompts a discussion about mental illness and depression. We play some clips from his most meaningful roles as well as some of his stand-up. Mental illness carries a stigma that makes asking for help difficult. We support a group called NAMI (National Association of Mental Illness) and we discuss the importance of removing the stigma from mental illness. A few other clips discussed in the show: ****Warning- the clip below has explicit ...
Sometimes we make decisions based on old patterns from childhood, even though they are unnecessary or unhelpful today. The first step toward understanding why we make certain decisions is to become more self aware and introspective. It also necessitates listening to other viewpoints and being conscious of our own defensiveness. Our children, spouse, and friends can all act as mirrors – allow them to help you see yourself better. For example, when Todd was younger ...
The NFL and Comissioner Roger Goodell handed down a punishment to NFL player Ray Rice for allegedly knocking out his fiance in an Atlantic City Casino. Some players have been suspended for 5 games for memorabilia violations, others 4 games for violating the league’s drug policy. Ray Rice received a suspension of ….. wait for it ….. 2 games! We discuss the inconsistencies of this decision and why this sends the wrong message to players ...
Is there a difference between a happy life and a meaningful life? We explore the subtle differences and why this understanding can change your life. We discuss a blog by Jed Diamond (Founder of the health program “Men Alive”) titled How the Science of a Meaningful Life Can Help Us Live Joyfully and Well: Happy people satisfy their wants and needs, but that seems largely irrelevant to a meaningful life. Happiness involves being focused on the ...
The topic of contraception and women’s rights can be so emotionally charged, it often leads to to yelling and judgment. But our listener, Charles, left us a respectful and informative message sharing his viewpoint. Can we disagree but still listen to each other in a respectful manner? It takes awareness and compassion, but it’s always possible. We also talk about listening with an “Empty Cup”: Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era, received a university ...
Have you ever heard of Kawasaki Disease? Chris and Monisha Lozier’s daughter Mae was a healthy and happy 4 year old until she got swollen glands and a fever. They found themselves living in a hospital for the next 9 days and eventually discovered their daughter had Kawasaki Disease. This is is an immune disease in which the medium-sized blood vessels throughout the body become inflamed. It’s cause is unknown, and it’s largely seen in children ...
We discuss a blog by Gayle Allen and Deborah Farmer Kris called “Why It’s Important To Teach Empathy To Boys”. They define empathy as the ability to sense other people’s emotions coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. How does this relate to parenting? We discuss three benefits of raising an empathetic child: It breeds courage- this will help your child stand up for those in need of help. It breeds ...
We discuss Hobby Lobby and the supreme court decision affecting contraception and women’s rights. Cathy gets all riled up, so watch out! We also remind you to put that bathing suit on and get in the pool – your children are watching you! Cathy explains what it means to be an empath, and we also answer a listener question about bossiness and bullying. At the end we have a conversation with The Joyful Mother Sigrid Kjeldsen ...
We discuss Dr. Daniel Siegel’s new book titled “Brainstorm- The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain”. Dr. Siegel explains that adolescence has an ESSENCE that is often overlooked. ESSENCE stands for: ES: An Emotional Spark is revealed in the enhanced way emotion generated from sub-cortical areas washes over the cortical circuits of reasoning. The downsides are emotional storms and moodiness; the upside is a powerful passion to live life fully, to capture life being ...
Casserly had always been on the top tier soccer team only to find out from her coach that she was being moved down to the next level. Her reaction to this gut punch might surprise you. Casserly is going into 6th grade and graduated from our first “Be U Girls Club” in the fall of 2013. We asked Casserly and her mom Rita to share this story in an effort to remind us that children are ...
How do we introduce cell phones to our kids? It’s a big step into an adult world, and concerns such as these are common: Will they abuse it?, Will they turn into “phoneheads”?, What kind of phone is appropriate?, What are the expectations around use of the phone? A few years ago Janelle Hoffman wrote a blog about phone expectations that went viral. We used her blog as “bones” for a list we created called “Jacey’s ...
In the second half of this 2 part interview, we continue the conversation between Aaron Krueger and Erin Kuhn-Krueger about their experience with multiple miscarriages and stillbirth. In this moving and inspiring interview they share their challenges, coping tools, and their strength and determination to become parents. This show is a must if you have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, or if you know someone who is trying to navigate the grief associated with baby loss. This is Part ...
Of course there are plenty of men who are not misogynists, but that doesn’t mean that women are not subjected to misognystic behavior. We have to take responsibility for ourselves and also recognize what we tolerate- our friends inappropriate jokes or behavior, the song lyrics we listen to, the movies we love, the people we idolize. And it’s not just men, women need to recognize how they contribute – gossiping, judging, and disrespecting other women ...
We speak with Aaron Krueger and Erin Kuhn-Krueger about their experience with multiple miscarriages and stillbirth. In this moving and inspiring interview they share their challenges, coping tools, and their strength and determination to become parents. This show is a must if you have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, or if you know someone who is trying to navigate the grief associated with baby loss. This is Part 1 of a two part interview with the ...
Of course you are the parent and your role is important, but can you sometimes just drop the role and relate to your child as an individual? We break down the the role of parent to redefine what it means to support your child. When your child comes to you with a problem, do you deal with the internal or the external? Most of us deal with the external – focus on how it looks ...
Do you want to be happy? Guess what, you’ve got the tools to do it! Happiness can be cultivated regardless of your childhood or genes – you just need to make it a daily priority! Shawn Achor is a Harvard Professor who teaches a class on how to be happy – research shows it comes from the INSIDE and has little to do with the external experiences. It’s not about waiting to be happy until ...
Did you know that May is Williams Syndrome Awareness Month? Williams syndrome is a genetic condition characterized by medical problems, including cardiovascular disease, developmental delays, and learning disabilities. People with Williams Syndrome also tend to have enhanced verbal abilities, highly social personalities and an affinity for music. It effects 1 in 10,000 people worldwide – an estimated 20,000 to 30,000 people in the United States. We interview Amy Connell-Donohue, the mother of 11 year old ...
