Zen Parenting Radio

Show Archive

Cathy and Todd breakdown the manipulation tactic known as gaslighting, where the goal is to abuse or control through lying, manipulating, and destabilizing. They discuss how it can be used by partners, parents, friends, bosses, and the political system, and why self-awareness and reality testing are essential to keep yourself from being victimized. They also discuss Norway’s approach to childhood sports and how its contributed to their record-setting number of Olympic medals. Team Zen- 0 ...
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Say Anything- Podcast #506

We couldn’t tape a show this week because Todd was sick ☹, so this is our Pop Culturing Podcast where we talk about the movie Say Anything… (1989) – we share why Lloyd and Diane’s love and friendship inspired us to be better people. We will return to our regularly scheduled programming next week! Say Anything … is a 1989 American romantic comedy-drama film written and directed by Cameron Crowe in his directorial debut. The film follows the romance between Lloyd Dobler ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss the benefit of mental health days after a law passed in Oregon allowing them to be excused. They also discuss the light and dark side of empathy, and how pain and challenge is a an opportunity to become more compassionate toward ourselves and others. The discuss post-traumatic growth and how we are hard-wired to help people in need, especially if we relate to their experience. 2:23 Mental health days 16:55 Hidden ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss why alone time or time away from your partner can be healthy and connective. They share the benefits and discuss the balance of togetherness and individuation. They share why it’s important to keep a sense of self and why the healthiest partnerships exist within the paradox of safety and adventure. 2:06 Should we have different words for trauma? 11:52 Being apart to come together 23:30 Painting or remodeling needs?   Check out ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss Stranger Things Season 3 and how it deals with grief, trauma, and growing up. They also discuss the “believe women” theme and all of the obvious and less obvious 80’s references. 45:45 Welcomb- Lice & Removal Kit 1:06:55 Painting or remodeling needs?   Check out the bald headed beauty Jeremy Kraft @ Avid  Team Zen- 0 Pressure, 100% support Enter coupon code “Jan” for 1 free month Todd Adams Coaching Team Zen- Enter ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss how we all have different approaches to challenging situations, and why there isn’t one way to speak up or solve a problem. They discuss how we can help children build a “self-awareness muscle” through question-asking and curiosity, and why understanding and honoring who we are is a life-long endeavor. 7:05 Random observations on a Monday afternoon (quick takes) 15:40 Two boys holding hands 20:45 Different ways to diffuse an intense situation ...
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Todd and Cathy discuss Jon Krakauer’s book Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town and the documentary the Bystander Moment (ZPR and The Tribe Men’s Group are hosting a free screening of this movie at the Elmhurst Public Library on July 9th at 7 pm). They discuss the statistics and trauma of sexual assault, and the why it’s important to talk to our kids about entitlement, desire, and consent. They explain what ...
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To celebrate their 500th episode and 8 years of podcasting, Todd and Cathy talk with their daughters Jacey (16), Camryn (14), and Skylar (11) about their experiences with “zen” parenting, and discuss the issues confronting teens and pre-teens today. Todd and Cathy also announce the launch of their new podcast, Pop Culturing – they discuss movies, tv shows and books, and break down key moments and little-known facts to touch upon underlying themes of self-awareness ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss some questions that Lori Gottlieb addresses in her book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, and share their own experiences with being the practitioner and the patient. 1:07 Thrifty McSavesalot 3:05 Maybe you should talk to someone 5:22 Do patients ever bore you? 15:06 Are there clients you don’t like? 17:32 What are you like outside the office? 26:22 Welcomb- Lice & Removal Kit 27:39 Why don’t you give advice? 40:00 ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss how fatherhood is being redefined and expanded as we learn more about ourselves and gender, Team Zen, Taylor Swift and much more… 4:24 Team Zen Clip 6:40 Cleo Wade quote on fathers 24:42 Welcomb- Lice & Removal Kit 45:00 Painting or remodeling needs?   Check out the bald headed beauty Jeremy Kraft @ Avid  Team Zen- 0 Pressure, 100% support Enter coupon code “Jan” for 1 free month Todd Adams Coaching Team ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss Sheryl Paul’s book The Wisdom of Anxiety, and why anxiety is an opportunity to be curious rather than afraid. They discuss how compassion, stillness, and gratitude play a role in understanding and coping with anxiety, and why anxiety is a wound and a messenger. They also discuss the Equal Rights Amendment and how it hasn’t yet been ratified by 38 states. 2:54 John Oliver’s take on the Equal Rights Amendment 14:02 ...
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Todd and Cathy discuss Sister Joan Chittister and her new book The Time is Now: A Call to Uncommon Courage. They discuss civil discourse, why we get our loves out of order, and why we yearn for the genuine. They discuss why self-care is the first step toward bettering our partnerships, parenting, and engagement in community and activism. 20:21 Is your computer backed up?  No?  Checkout Backblaze and get gimmick free, unlimited, cloud backup for ...
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Todd and Cathy talk with Gemma Hartley, author of Fed Up. They discuss emotional labor, how it affects partnership and parenting, and why it needs to be an evolving and ongoing conversation. Gemma will be taking questions during our Team Zen talk on June 4th – click here to join Team Zen and participate. 1:49 What is emotional labor? 6:08 “Tell me what to do.”  Helping vs being in charge of the household 8:00 Is ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss why the new laws in Alabama and other states strip women of their reproductive and human rights. They discuss how we have to take a wider view and not assume everyone has access to the same resources or education. They discuss how men make these decisions but remove themselves from what should be legislated or criminalized, and how we could refocus our energy to educate and support all communities. This episode ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss girls and stress and play clips from Rich Roll’s interview with Under Pressure author Lisa Damour. They also discuss the conflict between James Charles and Tati Westbrook, and how to talk to boys about being a bystander. 1:06 Tribe Men’s Group https://tribemensgroup.org/ 2:40 Bystander Moment Screening on July 9th–  View Trailer Here 3:50 Women’s Reproductive Rights 10:00 James Charles discussion 17:25 Lisa D’Amoure Intro 19:36 What should parents be worried about? ...
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Cathy and Todd talk with Former New York Times reporter KJ Dell’Antonio about her book How to be a Happier Parent. They discuss some common issues that challenge parents, and explore how to decrease the stress and find more joy. Painting or remodeling needs?   Check out the bald headed beauty Jeremy Kraft @ Avid  Team Zen- 0 Pressure, 100% support Enter coupon code “Jan” for 1 free month Todd Adams Coaching https://kjdellantonia.com/ Team Zen- Enter ...
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Cobra Kai- Podcast #491

Todd and Cathy discuss how people and organizations are both light and dark, and why it’s important to recognize this in ourselves. They discuss the You Tube Original Show Cobra Kai, specifically the nostalgia and surprises, and how all the characters are multidimensional and imperfect. They also share Carol Cadwalladr’s TED Talk where she calls out the Titans of Tech and Ricky Henderson’s Baseball Hall of Fame speech. 2:57 Ricky Henderson 6:48 Carol Cadwalladr’s Ted ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss a sports psychologist Dr. Michael Gervais interview on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard.  They discuss the difference between being the best and being your best. 4:42 Don’t tell your kids they can be president 13:55 Being the best vs being your best 18:38 Friday Night Lights clip 23:42 Ricky Henderson 26:54 Dax on #metoo 38:10 Painting or remodeling needs?   Check out the bald headed beauty Jeremy Kraft @ Avid  Team Zen- ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss how to give ourselves permission to change or try something new. They share some wisdom from Oprah’s new book The Path Made Clear, and discuss why trusting and honoring ourselves can strengthen our relationships. 0:23 Painting or remodeling needs?   Check out the bald headed beauty Jeremy Kraft @ Avid  Don Wall Team Zen- 0 Pressure, 100% support Enter coupon code “Jan” for 1 free month Todd Adams Coaching Rob Bell / ...
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Todd and Cathy discuss Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism about how we can do less, but better. They discuss how to figure out what’s essential, how to let go of what we no longer need, and how essentialism relates to KonMari and the movie City Slickers. 3:50 Painting or remodeling needs?   Check out the bald headed beauty Jeremy Kraft @ Avid  6:14 Essentialism by Greg McKeown 1:00:26 Team Zen- 0 Pressure, 100% support Enter coupon code “Jan” ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss how parenting experts can appear to contradict each other (even when their information is valid), and why we need to know our family and trust our instincts when making parenting decisions. They discuss Gabor Matè’s interview on the Goop podcast, Lori Gottlieb’s interview on NPR’s Fresh Air, and they share MILCK’s #ICANTKEEPQUIET project. 2:53 Marianne Williamson 5:49 Milck’s #Icantkeepquiet 13:31 Teen boys rated their female classmates based on looks. The girls ...
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Todd and Cathy discuss the lessons from the longest study about happiness from the Harvard Study on Adult Development. They discuss Steven Pinker’s data about the world getting better, and what Bill Gates and Warren Buffet both recommend for a happy life. 3:28 Why the “why” is important 6:15 Basics of the Harvard study 19:17 Boogie Wipes– enter coupon code “zen” for $5.00 off plus free shipping (>$25 order) 20:47 The power of happy childhoods 39:52 ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss public shaming and why responsibility, humility, and reflection need to be a part of the process. They discuss John Oliver’s interview with Monica Lewinsky and the college admission scandal. 25:26 Boogie Wipes– enter coupon code “zen” for $5.00 off plus free shipping (>$25 order) 39:19 ImPACT Baseline Test– Enter “zen25” to get 25% off your baseline test. 42:36 Team Zen 45:13 Painting or remodeling needs?   Check out the bald headed beauty Jeremy ...
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Cathy and Todd speak about the most impactful moments of this year’s conference. 16:03 Boogie Wipes– enter coupon code “zen” for $5.00 off plus free shipping (>$25 order) 37:44  ImPACT Baseline Test– Enter “zen25” to get 25% off your baseline test. 54:40 Team Zen 55:55 Painting or remodeling needs?   Check out the bald headed beauty Jeremy Kraft @ Avid  Team Zen- 0 Pressure, 100% support Enter coupon code “Jan” for 1 free month Team Zen- Enter coupon ...
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Todd and Cathy discuss Dax Shepard’s interview with Dr. John Gottman, and discuss his research around marriage, parenting, sex, and the key to longevity. 2:00 Shake Shack 4:38 Dax Shepard/ John Gottman Intro 7:42 Labeling kids 15:40 Differences b/w boys and girls 23:58 Boogie Wipes– enter coupon code “zen” for $5.00 off plus free shipping (>$25 order) 25:59 Tools in the relationship tool box 34:05 Sex & relationship 39:24 Bridesmaids 40:06 ImPACT Baseline Test– Enter ...
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This is our first video podcast.  We feature the highlight reel to our annual Zen Parenting Conference.  Enjoy!!! (Note: If you are on our website, please click the embedded video below to watch!) Learn more about this year’s Zen Parenting Conference, scheduled for March 8 & 9! ...
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School Decisions- Podcast #481

Todd and Cathy discuss why parental self-awareness is essential when our kids are making their life decisions. They discuss how our history plays a role in what we think is best for our kids, and why we need to be clear about what “success” means. They discuss why what worked for us may not work for them, and why staying connected is dependent on honest and vulnerable communication. 5:11 Amazon Alexa Skill 6:50 Question- Mom ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss the difference between a punitive (inflicting punishment) and restorative perspective (seeking to understand and address what happened to all involved), and why it’s important to recognize how we parent and why. They discuss why a restorative approach necessitates self-awareness and mindfulness, and why our willingness to effectively communicate with our kids about choices will help them with their decision-making as adults. 1:24 Avid Painting & Remodeling 2:49 Discussed blog titled … ...
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Todd and Cathy discuss why focusing on simple allows other things to flow more easily, and why aligning with what feels right allows determination, grit, and curiosity to show up naturally. They discuss why Equifinality (the fact that there are many different pathways to the same outcome) is important to acknowledge when we are making choices for ourselves or for our children. 4:30 Simplicity, patience, & compassion from the Tao 5:12 Birth stories 10:08 Grit ...
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Words Matter- Podcast #478

Cathy and Todd discuss the Superbowl and the most impactful commercials, specifically The Washington Post commercial titled Democracy Dies in Darkness. They discuss how the Justice Department minimized the description of domestic violence and why less information can create more problems. They process Lady Gaga’s deposition for Kesha, the Dirty John Podcast, and why connection and listening are the keys to every life relationship. 3:11 Washington Post Superbowl commercial 14:52 ImPACT Baseline Test– Enter “zen25” ...
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Todd and Cathy discuss the shadow parts of themselves that they pretend aren’t there, and Todd shares an activity where he had to act out the parts he tries hardest to repress. They share why the people who annoy us tend to display traits in ourselves that we don’t want to look at, and why accepting all of our parts keeps us whole and develops our compassion. [2:02] Quick Takes[7:18] Sex Education for the 21st ...
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Todd and Cathy discuss the new American Psychological Association (APA) guidelines for men and boys, and why a Gillette ad about healthy masculinity has drawn so much criticism. 3:13 Clip from the Better podcast discussing vaping, jeweling, etc.  Dr. John Duffy 8:44 APA guidelines regarding “traditional masculinity” 25:04 ImPACT Baseline Test– Enter “zen25” to get 25% off your baseline test. 26:11 Gillette Ad This Is Water 44:44 ZPR Conference 47:18 Painting or remodeling needs?   Check ...
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Truth & Lies- Podcast #475

Todd and Cathy discuss why instead of looking for truth, we can begin to notice the lies that we consistently tell ourselves. They discuss failure, and why Cody Parkey’s kick during the Bears game became a teachable moment. They talk about extended family, noticing our ego, and what we can learn from the movie Cocktail. 0:55 How to deal with failure by Cody Parkey 12:45 ImPACT Baseline Test– Enter “zen25” to get 25% off your ...
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Take Turns- Podcast #474

Cathy shares an essay by Mark Nepo about partners who are willing to take turns exploring the outer and the inner. They discuss why equality is like an unwinding onion with limitless new things to explore, while focusing on Glenn Close in The Wife and Amy Adams in Vice. They also talk about what “unlikability” means for female candidates, and why it’s important to discuss specifically what makes us like, believe, or pay attention to ...
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Team Zen Podcast #473

Todd and Cathy share different questions asked by Team Zen members during Zen Talks. Team Zen was created based on feedback from listeners – they wished they could ask Cathy+Todd a question, get resources for a specific challenge, and find a supportive and interactive community. Team Zen does all of this, and more. It includes two live ZenTalks a month, a private Facebook page with resources and Q&A, a premium podcast, and an opportunity to ...
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Dark and Light Podcast #472

Cathy and Todd discuss why light and dark are part of the holidays, and why every season has a purpose. They discuss Barbara Brown Taylor’s book, Learning to Walk in the Dark, and why embracing dark can make us more compassionate and integrated people. They discuss the challenges of spiritual bypassing and what Wayne Dyer meant when he said, “Learn to die while you are living”. Todd Adams Coaching For Guys The Tribe Mens Group  ...
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Todd and Cathy discuss Jonathan Haidt’s book The Coddling of the American Mind, specifically focusing on the interview with Sam Harris on the Waking Up podcast. They discuss why universities struggle with controversial speakers, why safe spaces were created, and why some people have a hard time viewing emotional pain as valid pain. They process why there are no simple answers, and how each situation carries unique challenges and dynamics that need to be considered ...
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Love Is Help- Podcast #470#

Cathy and Todd introduce four more speakers and four special organizations who will be at the 2019 Zen Parenting Conference. They discuss a podcast featuring Tony Robbins and the author of The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer, and they play a clip from Will Smith about why love is help. 2:05 Conference intro 4:47 Jahmal Cole 9:09 Dr. Alexandra Solomon 11:41 Dr. John Duffy 16:24 Karen Brody 22:10 Moms Demand Action 24:57 My Block My Hood ...
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The Joke- Podcast #469

Cathy and Todd discuss Brandi Carlisle’s song The Joke, and why it was written for people who feel “under-represented, unloved or illegal”. They talk about the newest sexual assault allegations, and what needs to be done to create change. The discuss the dignity of George HW Bush, and why his agenda while in office was surprising. 0:54 I Am Evidence Screening 3:10  Get Your Brave On ZPR Conference 3:58 Team Zen Update 6:52 “Welcome to ...
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Our friend Josh St. Pierre returns to the show to give us an update on his recent kidney transplant (click here to listen to Josh’s first podcast where he shares his story). He shares what it felt like to get the phone call about the potential match, how he’s reflecting and recovering, and why he’s grateful for the people and lessons learned along the way. Click here to learn more about organ donation. Go Fund ...
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Todd and Cathy discuss how we tell our story, and how we can frame it in a way that serves us rather than depletes us. They discuss why mindfulness and sharing our story are essential when dealing with trauma, and also when we are parenting and relating to our children. They discuss Mark Epstein’s books, Sharon Salzberg’s path to compassionate teaching, and why Michelle Obama says we need to own our story. 3:55 Narrate your ...
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Becoming- Podcast #466 (Fixed)

Cathy and Todd discuss Michelle Obama’s new book Becoming, focusing in on some of the best pieces of advice for parents and kids. They discuss why we are always evolving, why growth never ends, and why we should allow our kids (and ourselves) to fail, pivot, and change. 2:23 Don’t rake your leaves 4:15 International Men’s Day discussion 8:00 The power of voices 15:06 Conference Sponsor Rita Hyland Coaching 16:04 “Becoming” by Michelle Obama 17:17 ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss anger and how it can be productive, but also be destructive if not monitored. They discuss Pete Davidson’s apology and Lt. Com. Dan Crenshaw’s willingness to accept it on SNL this weekend. They discuss how Bridesmaids and Pitch Perfect allowed the women to be the complex characters, and why Bohemian Rhapsody is so fun to watch. 0:00 Review of “Bohemian Rhapsody 9:55 Sex Ed for the 21st Century Virtual Presentation 11:02 ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss how fear can be helpful if we are willing to listen and look at what’s it’s trying to say, but destructive if we live from constant state of fear by blaming and dehumanizing. They discuss Dr. Bessel van de Kolk’s book, The Body Keeps Score, and his interview with Krista Tippet on the Being Wise podcast, and how trauma becomes lodged in our bodies and what we can do to move ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss why blame and the belief that we are superior to another causes pain in our family, community and country. They discuss how dehumanization is a weapon to oppress and harm, and why we need to be thoughtful about words we say and write. They also discuss why intimacy coordinators are being used at HBO, why Todd can continue to express himself authentically, and Dax Shepard’s interview with Brenè Brown. 4:05 HBO ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss some great quotes and wisdom gained from Cathy’s weekend with Glennon and Abby at Omega Institute. They discuss why being a “cool girl” is no longer necessary or healthy, why pleasing everyone will exhaust you, and how our wounds can become our greatest source of strength and inspiration. Glennon and Abby are the keynotes at the Zen Parenting Conference on March 8&9, 2019 – get your tickets at zenparentingradio.com. 15:40 Born ...
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Daring To Lead- Podcast #461

Cathy and Todd discuss Brenè Brown’s new book, Daring to Lead, and apply her well-researched leadership principles to the family structure. They discuss why fear is inevitable, how courage can be practiced, and how we can teach and role model leadership in our homes, so our kids can take it into the world. 1:23 Family meeting on certain people not picking up after themselves 4:54 Magic Coffee Table Video 13:07 Dare To Lead- 13:07 Can’t ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss power dynamics within relationships – specifically who has it, how to share it, and how to talk about it. They discuss why taking a measured approach to power – with our kids, in our partnerships, and even on-line – has the potential to teach compassion and deepen relationships. They discuss why stepping back is sometimes necessary, why stepping forward can be powerful, and why This Is Us leads to great family ...
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Todd and Cathy discuss the history of not believing women, and why recognizing what we’ve missed and creating change can be messy and difficult. They share clips from a Hidden Brain podcast about how social proof and horizontal action play a role in the #metoo movement, the truth about Anita Hill’s testimony (click here to hear the “You’re Wrong About…” podcast), and why the Duke Lacrosse story became nationally known (click here to see the ...
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Cathy and Todd discuss #WhyIDidntReport and why it’s important to listen, rather than assume we already understand, other people’s stories. They discuss the importance of hearing – women who talk about sexual assault, our spouses, our children – rather than assuming we already understand their experiences. They talk about questioning unconscious bias and share clips from a vulnerable and brave Charles Blow interview. 4:00 Story about the three folks at the airport discussing theology and ...
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