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Last Friday night was “pizza & ice cream night” in our house. Nowhere to go, nothing to do other than watch the Olympics, eat some unhealthy but yummy food and spend some quality time together. At least that was the picture I had in my head for the evening. The problem was one of my daughters was not on board with MY plan and instead told me how bored she was and how she wanted to watch “Merlin”. I instantly went to a place of judgement thinking- this kid has no idea how good she has it- pizza, ice cream, Olympics. I think about Slum Dog Millionaire when the children are looking through the trash heaps for something edible to eat. Cathy and I discuss this experience at length and give some ideas on how best to navigate through such a situation.
What would you do if your kid decided to switch from Spanish over to French? Well that’s what mine did even though I view it as less practical. It was a test to my overly-logical view point as well as my parenting. How would you react?
We also discuss the book All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior. The research now shows that we are busier than ever and how that can affect our psyche. We distinguish between helicopter parenting and being a “super” parent. Last we discuss how joy is one of the more difficult emotions to own.
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Comments 4
I almost didn’t listen to this one but I’m so glad I did. I was worried I’d feel worse about my kids’ lack of gratitude, but found myself saying “ME TOO!” to so many of your examples (“mom, carry my backpack” when their hands are empty and mine are overflowing.) I really hope I can get my husband to listen to this one, since your description of how we envision an activity in our heads vs. the reality of experiencing with kids can disappoint also plays out in our house. I love how you both help listeners see these events from the kids’ perspective, without excusing them. I express my gratitude for your podcast!
Shawn Carstens
Alfred, NY
Shawn,
Thank you so much for the kind words. Cathy and I express our gratitude to you for listening. If there’s any other topic that you’d like us to discuss, let us know and we’ll do our best to work it in. Thanks again,
Todd
I am listening to some past shows for the first time. You guys are great. Just a little comment on the Spanish vs French thing. A middle schooler may choose to be with her friends just to be with them. However, when taking a language it is so much easier if you have people to practice with. She may be more likely to practice if she is already hanging out with the people that are learning the same language. I wouldn’t be annoyed if that was the reason she chose French. She would have unintentionally been practical.
Dayna,
I didn’t think of it that way. thanks for the insight and thanks for listening. let us know if there’s any topics you’d like Cathy and I to cover and we’ll do our best to work it in.
Todd